It is crucial to teach children in the right direction at an early age, some individuals suggest punishment is a potential tool for helping them learn effectively, I strongly agree with this notion. In the following paragraphs, the advantages and possible types of punishments will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.

#children #right #direction #age #individuals #punishment #tool #notion #paragraphs #punishments #detail #conclusion

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While

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there are many ways of teaching toddlers in their primary years, I consider punishments to be the most efficient way to educate them because

Correct pronoun usage

they

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vividly

demonstrates

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demonstrate

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to them what should not have been done. Punishments serve as a guide in

this

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scenario case. One of the obvious reasons I believe so is the fact that by disciplining a child, you let them reflect on their improper behaviour.

For instance

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, during my childhood, I often resorted to eating sweet candies, which might have eventually grown into a bad habit. Fortunately, my parents observed my tendency and hid all the sugary-containing products, probably saving loads of money I could have spent on dentist appointments.

Furthermore

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, reminiscing about past misbehaviour makes children involuntarily think about the potential repercussions their actions may lead to.

Therefore

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punishment

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also

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prevents the future unwanted impacts of improper conduct. On the other side of the coin, some adults might not properly understand what a "good"

punishment

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is, which might cause psychological issues and childhood traumas.

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, it is crucial to comprehend the boundaries of

punishment

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For example

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, no individual should ever resort to physical abuse disguising it as nurturing a toddler.

Overall

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, I would like to state that a proper

punishment

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for bad deeds is absolutely necessary in order to bring up a well-mannered person. Some people might use it in the wrong way though.

Submitted by asllchkied on Mon Sep 23 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Continue to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly and logically connects to the next. This helps the reader follow your argument easily.

Coherence and Cohesion

Incorporate more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and demonstrate your language proficiency. This will also reduce any repetitiveness in your argumentation.

Task Response

Continue to support your points with specific examples, as you did with the story about your childhood. This adds credibility to your arguments and makes them more relatable.

Task Response

Be cautious about potential counterarguments and address them more comprehensively. Acknowledging opposing views and providing a reasoned refutation can strengthen your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay is clear, logically structured, and easy to follow. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, which is well-supported by examples.

Task Response

Specific examples, like your childhood experience with sweets, effectively illustrate your points and enhance your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

7.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

229 words

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Fully explain your ideas

Employers should give their staff at least four-weeks’ holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

PERSONAL INFORMATION These days more people put their personal information, such as names, addresses and telephone numbers, online for everyday activities such as socialising on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In many cities the population is increasing. Some say that the urbanisation process denies us knowing our neighbors, and this causes a loss of community sense. What is the main problem with this? What measures can be taken to overcome it?

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweight the disadvantages?

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes? What are the solutions?