IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is by reducing the maximum speed limits on vehicles others think there are other better ways. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

#people #road #safety #limits #vehicles #side
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Nowadays there are ongoing debates about reducing the speed limit of a vehicle as the most effective way of minimizing
road
 traffic accidents
while
 others
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 there are other alternative measures to curb
this
 problem.
This
 essay will delve
further
 into
this
 issue. First and foremost, speeding is one of the major causes of car
crash
Fix the agreement mistake
crashes
show examples
. To explain
this
, the momentum of car
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 is driven by
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 factors and speed is one of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. A
high velocity
Add a hyphen
high-velocity
show examples
 moving vehicle will cause more damage and injuries to the victim as compared to a slower vehicle.
Hence
, if
speed
Add an article
the speed
show examples
 limit is reduced, the negative effects of car accidents can be minimized. Moving on to the next point, apart from the measure mentioned above, other alternative steps to improve
road
 safety
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
educating the drivers. It is a well-known fact that knowledge can improve
behaviour
Correct article usage
the behaviour
show examples
 and attitude of a person.
Consequently
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society will be more
law abiding
Add a hyphen
law-abiding
show examples
 and aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
road
 safety.
Lastly
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stricter law enforcement will
also
 help to improve drivers’ compliance
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the rules. With regular patrolling and speeding tickets,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society will be more cautious and responsible. By and large,
while
 reducing speed
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
 is one of the effective ways to enhance
road
 safety, other measures
such
 as
road
 traffic education and stricter law enforcement are indispensable measures as well. In my opinion combinations of two or more ways will be better.
Submitted by nabilahabdmalek3452 on

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task response
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument but lacks specific and detailed examples to support your points. Including real-life examples or statistical data could make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure in your essay, but some transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Ensuring that each idea flows seamlessly into the next will improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
To further improve your cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas and sentences. This will make your writing more engaging and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion effectively summarises the main points and provides a personal opinion.
task response
You have effectively identified and discussed key measures for improving road safety beyond just reducing speed limits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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