IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In most countries, prison is an effective solution for the problem of crime. Some people think a more effective solution is to provide a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#countries #prison #crime #people #education #disagree？
Nowadays, many solutions for the problem of crime
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 been proposed,
all
Correct word choice
and all
show examples
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
 of solutions are
seek
Fix the infinitive
to seek
show examples
 a better way to deal with crime events. One of them is to provide a better
education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and make
convict
Fix the agreement mistake
convicts
show examples
 reformed and return to society.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons why I agree
provide
Add the particle
to provide
show examples
 a better
education
. On the one hand,
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 a better
education
 can reduce the chance of
recommitment
.
For example
, some countries
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
instead
 of
prison
demonstrates
Wrong verb form
demonstrating
show examples
 that
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 a better
education
 can still be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an effective solution.
This
 suggests that
supply
Wrong verb form
supplying
show examples
 a better
education
 can
led
Change the verb form
lead
be led
show examples
 to positive
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 because of
recommitment
 decreased.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 a better
education
 plays a crucial role in
recommitment
Correct article usage
the recommitment
show examples
rate
.
Moreover
, some
education
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
occupational training for misdemeanor
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
.
For instance
, some
prison
Fix the agreement mistake
prisons
show examples
 provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
vocational training to
thief
Fix the agreement mistake
thieves
show examples
 and hope
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a skill to
survival
Replace the word
survive
show examples
 without stealing.
This
 suggests that
supply
Wrong verb form
supplying
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
occupational training can
led
Change the verb form
lead
be led
show examples
 to constructive
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ex-thief
Fix the agreement mistake
ex-thiefs
show examples
 no longer
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
live on stealing.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vocational training is given
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
paramount importance
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 decreasing
recommitment
Correct article usage
the recommitment
show examples
rate
. In conclusion,
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 a better
education
 can be
regard
Change the form of the verb
regarded
show examples
 as a
cutting edge
Add a hyphen
cutting-edge
show examples
 solution, based on many benefits,
such
 as decreasing
recommitment
rate
.
By provide
Wrong verb form
Providing
show examples
 a better
education
 for
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
evidence shows
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 effective solution than
prison
. Ultimately, many
prison
Change to a plural noun
prisons
show examples
start
Wrong verb form
have started
show examples
 to reform and more
prison
Fix the agreement mistake
prisons
show examples
likely
Add a missing verb
are likely
show examples
 to offer
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
 for
Add an article
a misdemeanor
show examples
misdemeanor
Fix the agreement mistake
misdemeanors
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
reduced
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
recommitment
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 in future.
Submitted by hibana2077 on

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complete response
Make sure to fully expand on your main points with clear, detailed explanations. For instance, explain more about how education reduces recidivism rates and provide more specific examples or studies to support your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that your ideas are presented clearly and comprehensively. Avoid vague expressions and ensure that each sentence contributes to the overall argument.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This not only strengthens your argument but also shows your ability to use evidence effectively.
logical structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed, reinforcing the essay’s overall argument.
supported main points
You provide clear reasons for your viewpoint, such as the role of education in reducing recommitment rates and providing occupational training.
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