Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people argue that
children
should be taught by their parents
how to become valuable members of society. Others suggest that it is the schools
, where they should learn this
. While
parents
instil foundational values in their children
, I believe that schools
provide a more practical approach
for
learning Change preposition
to
this
.
Children
, from an early age, are taught how to behave with others by their parents
. Because they are always with their children
, parents
know how their children
react to certain situations. Therefore
, they can guide them accordingly
and teach them basic manners and principles, which is a personalized approach
. For example
, children
when allowed to take care of a family pet, get to understand that their actions affect other living beings too, thereby learning how to be responsible. However
, I believe that this
may also
create bias in their children
's minds because they learn only one point of view.
Universities have a more realistic approach
of
educating their students with moral and ethical values. Change preposition
to
Schools
, normally, have certain projects that require group participation, thereby teaching children
teamwork and compassion, which are essential traits to become valuable citizens. For instance
, St. Xavier’s Institution, a school in Kolkata, India, has mandatory community service programs, where the students visit the local orphanages to donate their old books. Therefore
, I am of the opinion that schools
provide a more realistic setting to educate young students with moral principles.
In conclusion, parents
know their children
better and can guide them to become better human beings through a personalized method. However
, educational institutions have curriculums in place that teach children
to be better individuals through a practical approach
, making it the best place for learning societal values.Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on
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task achievement
The introduction is clear and presents both viewpoints effectively. However, consider elaborating slightly more on your own opinion to make it even clearer.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical progression throughout, and each paragraph flows well into the next. Still, work on having more explicit transitional phrases to enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Examples given are relevant and support the arguments well. A bit more detail on the counter-argument would strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every main point discussed finds closure within the paragraph. Also, check to make sure that no meaningful points are left underdeveloped.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main ideas discussed.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas presented throughout. The essay effectively covers both views and provides a well-reasoned opinion.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are used to support the main points, making the argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Good logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.