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Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below shows the village of Stakeford in 1930 and 2010. Summarise the information

The maps below shows the village of Stakeford in 1930 and 2010. Summarise the information
#maps #village #stakeford #summarise #information
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The maps
provides
Change the verb form
provide
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 information on the development of Stakeford in 1930 and 2010. A significant extension of the village has been clearly presented. In 1930 Stakeford consisted of one main road along which buildings were located. In the north before the bridge that passes the River Stoke 10 houses were constructed
as well as
Linking Words
 two shops and
post
Correct article usage
a post
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 office on the west side of the road and
primary
Correct article usage
a primary
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 school on the east. Behind the schools and between
river
Add an article
the river
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 and the road there was a farmland area. In the south part of the village
Large
Correct article usage
a Large
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 house with
garden
Add an article
a garden
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 was located.
In contrast
Linking Words
, by 2010 Stakeford had come a huge expansion to the east, wets, and primarily south. Few additional roads to the new estates were added in the former farmland areas and the number of houses increased to 51. Post office and primary school remained in their original positions;
however
Linking Words
, a development of the school is
also
Linking Words
 presented. The large house with the garden was transformed into
the
Correct article usage
a
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 retirement home.
Submitted by kuba.glogowski on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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