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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of films producted in 5 different countries. Summarise the information

The graph shows the number of films producted in 5 different countries. Summarise the information
The graph provides information on the number of
movies
Use synonyms
 produced by five different countries in 2007, 2008, and 2009. The data clearly illustrates the supremacy of state A in
films
Change the noun form
film
show examples
 production throughout the research period. The number of
movies
Use synonyms
 created by
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 E and D
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 remained
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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 level through the years. E in each year made 10 films
while
Linking Words
 D started with 15 in 2007,
to
Change preposition
apply
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later
witness
Wrong verb form
witnessed
show examples
 a slight fall to 10 in 2008, and
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 moderate growth to again 15 in 2009.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, state C despite generally low numbers experienced a gradual rise between 2007, 2008, and 2009, from 9 to 11 and 18, respectively. Country A and B followed a different pattern as many more
movies
Use synonyms
 had been produced by them. B despite a stable level of 50 films between 2007 and 2008 saw a dramatic increase to 70 in 2009. Country A similar to B remained constant in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 two years at 88
movies
Use synonyms
, but later observed a slight fall to 80 in 2009. In spite of
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 it still maintained its supremacy over the other states.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words movies with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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