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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given graph provides information about the amount of US households with 5 types of electronic devices
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
between 1995
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, all technologies that were used over the
period
Use synonyms
 had an upward trend, meanwhile
DVD
Correct article usage
the DVD
show examples
 player fluctuated during the
period
Use synonyms
.
Phone
Fix the agreement mistake
Phones
show examples
 received a dramatic rise in terms of use over the years. It began with just below 20% and rose dramatically reaching three
quarter
Fix the agreement mistake
quarters
show examples
 by 1999.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
users
Correct quantifier usage
number of users
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 in
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 grew significantly from 10%
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
 and increased
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fivefold in 1999. The number of households that used
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 increased steadily during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 40% in 1995 to 70% in 1999. Washing machine, which was the kind of technology that
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 used the most, starting from 60% and ending with 80% by 1999.
In contrast
Linking Words
, DVD player was the only device which fluctuated.
This
Linking Words
 category started with a quarter,
then
Linking Words
 dropped to around 15% in 1996,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the number went up until the end of the
period
Use synonyms
 with 40% households.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Households
  • Technology adoption
  • Growth rate
  • Decline rate
  • Milestones
  • Obsolete
  • Societal factors
  • Economic conditions
  • Advancements
  • Consumer preferences
  • Market saturation
  • Trend analysis
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