IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduces the ammount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, technology has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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widely influenced our daily life
interaction
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 through email or any other online platform. Many
people
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 said that
this
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 innovation has a negative impact
to
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on
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 our face-to-face
interaction
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.
In addition
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,
this
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 essay agrees with the notion because
this
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 will strongly affect human relationships and lead to various mental
health
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problems
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.
Firstly
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, one of the main merits that online communication has is the massive changes in terms of how convenient it is.
This
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have
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has
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 changed us in a way that we could not go back to the traditional
of
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apply
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messaging,
such
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 as sending a letter or owning some kind of bird as a helper to sending the news to other
people
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. But,
this
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 actually leads to the
lost
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loss
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 of connection between a human and another.
For example
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, many families
celebrating
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celebrate
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 holidays like
christmas
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Christmas
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 or
new year's
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New Year's
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eve
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Eve
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 through video
call
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calls
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 because they do not want to
give
Verb problem
make
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effort
Correct article usage
an effort
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 to meet their own family.
In addition
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, long-distance interactions, sooner or later, will cause a lot of mental
problems
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especially
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, especially
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 for teenagers
that
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who
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 have not
develop
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developed
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 the ability to manage different kinds of
emotion
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emotions
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. The time
people
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spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 messaging through WhatsApp or Line
have
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has
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 affected their mental
health
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 because it creates
the
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apply
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feeling
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feelings
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 of loneliness and isolation and may
also
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leads
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lead
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 to
deppresion
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depression
 and anxiety.
For instance
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, the BBC channel has said that the reason behind the majority of mental
health
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problems
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 in teenagers
were
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was
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 because of hate speech and cyberbullying in the media, which
then
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 made them question their self-worth. In conclusion, the innovation of face-to-face
interaction
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 does
has
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have
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positive
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a positive
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 impact,
such
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 as shortening the amount of time
that is
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 usually required in messaging
people
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.
However
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,
this
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 could actually
leads
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lead
show examples
 to
wide
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a wide
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 range of issues
like
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apply
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affecting the quality of human
interaction
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 and mental
health
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problems
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.

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grammar
Pay attention to grammar and word usage to avoid inaccuracies that can affect clarity. For instance, "has been widely influenced" should be "has widely influenced."
support
Ensure that the examples presented are highly relevant and clearly support the main points. For instance, when mentioning holidays celebrated through video calls, provide a clearer link to how it negatively impacts relationships.
vocabulary
Try to use a more nuanced vocabulary to better express ideas and avoid repetition. For example, consistently using "mental health problems" might be varied with terms like "psychological issues" or "emotional well-being."
introduction
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay by clearly stating the issue and the stance.
examples
The essay provides specific examples, such as celebrating holidays via video call and cyberbullying, that make the argument more relatable.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the stance, providing a strong closing to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant messaging
  • Virtual friendships
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Social isolation
  • Emotional connection
  • Superficial relationships
  • Mental health issues
  • Social norms
  • Digital communication
  • In-person meetings
  • Quality of social interactions
  • Unparalleled convenience
  • Human beings are social animals
  • Prioritize convenience
  • Meaningful social experiences
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