Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduces the ammount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, technology has
been
widely influenced our daily life Unnecessary verb
apply
interaction
through email or any other online platform. Many people
said that this
innovation has a negative impact to
our face-to-face Change preposition
on
interaction
. In addition
, this
essay agrees with the notion because this
will strongly affect human relationships and lead to various mental health
problems
.
Firstly
, one of the main merits that online communication has is the massive changes in terms of how convenient it is. This
have
changed us in a way that we could not go back to the traditional Change the verb form
has
of
messaging, Change preposition
apply
such
as sending a letter or owning some kind of bird as a helper to sending the news to other people
. But, this
actually leads to the lost
of connection between a human and another. Replace the word
loss
For example
, many families celebrating
holidays like Wrong verb form
celebrate
christmas
or Change the capitalization
Christmas
new year's
Correct your spelling
New Year's
eve
through video Capitalize word
Eve
call
because they do not want to Fix the agreement mistake
calls
give
Verb problem
make
effort
to meet their own family.
Correct article usage
an effort
In addition
, long-distance interactions, sooner or later, will cause a lot of mental problems
especially
for teenagers Add the comma(s)
, especially
that
have not Correct pronoun usage
who
develop
the ability to manage different kinds of Wrong verb form
developed
emotion
. The time Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
people
spent
messaging through WhatsApp or Line Wrong verb form
spend
have
affected their mental Change the verb form
has
health
because it creates the
Correct article usage
apply
feeling
of loneliness and isolation and may Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
also
leads
to Change the verb form
lead
deppresion
and anxiety. Correct your spelling
depression
For instance
, the BBC channel has said that the reason behind the majority of mental health
problems
in teenagers were
because of hate speech and cyberbullying in the media, which Change the verb form
was
then
made them question their self-worth.
In conclusion, the innovation of face-to-face interaction
does has
Wrong verb form
have
positive
impact, Add an article
a positive
such
as shortening the amount of time that is
usually required in messaging people
. However
, this
could actually leads
to Change the verb form
lead
wide
range of issues Add an article
a wide
like
affecting the quality of human Change preposition
apply
interaction
and mental health
problems
.Submitted by ethia.oktaviani on
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grammar
Pay attention to grammar and word usage to avoid inaccuracies that can affect clarity. For instance, "has been widely influenced" should be "has widely influenced."
support
Ensure that the examples presented are highly relevant and clearly support the main points. For instance, when mentioning holidays celebrated through video calls, provide a clearer link to how it negatively impacts relationships.
vocabulary
Try to use a more nuanced vocabulary to better express ideas and avoid repetition. For example, consistently using "mental health problems" might be varied with terms like "psychological issues" or "emotional well-being."
introduction
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay by clearly stating the issue and the stance.
examples
The essay provides specific examples, such as celebrating holidays via video call and cyberbullying, that make the argument more relatable.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the stance, providing a strong closing to the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?