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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffe and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffe and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
The bar chart compares the information of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea consumption habits of residents in a
4 weeks
Correct your spelling
4-week
 period in five Australian
cities
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the contribution of
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 chose to go to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea stood at the highest among the other
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
 in the majority of the
cities
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, freshly bought
coffee
Use synonyms
 by the
people
Use synonyms
 has the lowest percentage in all
cities
Use synonyms
. Regarding the interest of the persons who consumed fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
, in
Sydney
Use synonyms
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 held at around 43%,
whereas
Linking Words
 in Melbourne
being
Verb problem
it was
show examples
 just slightly below
Sydney
Use synonyms
's. Followed by Hobart with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 total number of approximately 37%. As for Brisbane and Adelaide, both
cities
Use synonyms
 stood at nearly the same percentage at about 38%. The number of
people
Use synonyms
 who went to a cafe in Melbourne is nearly two-thirds of the rate.
while
Linking Words
, in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and Hobart around 61% and 62%, respectively. In
Brisbane
Add a comma
Brisbane,
show examples
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 stayed at just over 55%, and approximately 49% in the city of Adelaide. The percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who bought soluble
coffee
Use synonyms
rank
Correct subject-verb agreement
ranks
show examples
 the highest in Hobart at approximately 54%.
While
Linking Words
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 in Brisbane stood at around 42%, its
figure
Use synonyms
 reached exactly half of the
porpotion
Correct your spelling
portion
proportion
 in Adelaide. As for Melbourne the rate
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
 under half, followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
Sydney
Use synonyms
 at nearly 47%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, people, sydney, figure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption patterns
  • purchase locations
  • frequency
  • influencing factors
  • artisanal
  • preferences
  • survey data
  • market trends
  • specialty stores
  • drinking habits
  • urban consumption
  • morning rush
  • afternoon break
  • brand loyalty
  • quality-conscious
  • convenience-driven
  • organic products
  • habitual drinkers
  • occasional consumers
  • taste preferences
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