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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffe and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffe and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
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The bar chart compares the information of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea consumption habits of residents in a
4 weeks
Correct your spelling
4-week
 period in five Australian
cities
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the contribution of
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 chose to go to a cafe for
coffee
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 or tea stood at the highest among the other
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
 in the majority of the
cities
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
, freshly bought
coffee
Use synonyms
 by the
people
Use synonyms
 has the lowest percentage in all
cities
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. Regarding the interest of the persons who consumed fresh
coffee
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, in
Sydney
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, the
figure
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 held at around 43%,
whereas
Linking Words
 in Melbourne
being
Verb problem
it was
show examples
 just slightly below
Sydney
Use synonyms
's. Followed by Hobart with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 total number of approximately 37%. As for Brisbane and Adelaide, both
cities
Use synonyms
 stood at nearly the same percentage at about 38%. The number of
people
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 who went to a cafe in Melbourne is nearly two-thirds of the rate.
while
Linking Words
, in
Sydney
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 and Hobart around 61% and 62%, respectively. In
Brisbane
Add a comma
Brisbane,
show examples
 the
figure
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 stayed at just over 55%, and approximately 49% in the city of Adelaide. The percentage of
people
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 who bought soluble
coffee
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rank
Correct subject-verb agreement
ranks
show examples
 the highest in Hobart at approximately 54%.
While
Linking Words
 the
figure
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 in Brisbane stood at around 42%, its
figure
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 reached exactly half of the
porpotion
Correct your spelling
portion
proportion
 in Adelaide. As for Melbourne the rate
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
 under half, followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
Sydney
Use synonyms
 at nearly 47%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, people, sydney, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption patterns
  • purchase locations
  • frequency
  • influencing factors
  • artisanal
  • preferences
  • survey data
  • market trends
  • specialty stores
  • drinking habits
  • urban consumption
  • morning rush
  • afternoon break
  • brand loyalty
  • quality-conscious
  • convenience-driven
  • organic products
  • habitual drinkers
  • occasional consumers
  • taste preferences
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