Task 2: Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the modern world, some people argue that
government
should invest in Correct article usage
the government
adults
education, especially Change the noun form
adult
the
illiterate, Change preposition
for the
while
Linking Words
other
believe that authorities should take priority young people overFix the agreement mistake
others
them
. In my point of view, Correct pronoun usage
apply
support
youngsters’ Wrong verb form
supporting
financial
would be more reasonable.
Without a doubt, education is a weapon and it should be prioritized for children. Replace the word
finances
The adolescence
Correct article usage
Adolescence
still
young and have more opportunities to study higher when they graduate. They have self-learning Add a missing verb
are still
ability
and Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
also
can Linking Words
pick-up
knowledge at Correct your spelling
pick up
Linking Words
such
an early age. If giving them more Correct quantifier usage
apply
chance
to Fix the agreement mistake
chances
further
their field of knowledge, they would bring back welfare and contribute to their home nation’s economy, education or develop Linking Words
industrial
. Change the adjective
industrially
For example
, some developing countries Linking Words
such
as Vietnam and Thailand have government scholarships for teenagers with difficult circumstances to study overseas.
Linking Words
Although
, there should not be anyone who can not be able to read or write. Recently, in many remote areas, some Linking Words
adult
can not afford and do not have enough access to go to school, which Fix the agreement mistake
adults
make
them illiterate and some of them are unemployed. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Therefore
, if state Linking Words
agency
pay money for them to attend Fix the agreement mistake
agencies
to
school and learn Change preposition
apply
read
and write, Fix the infinitive
to read
this
problem can be solved. In Linking Words
United
States, there are many schools for homeless people or those who live in shelters as literacy is a gateway to a job or promotion, a driver’s license, citizenship, voting, or simply not feeling helpless when presented with Correct article usage
the United
the
instructions on a medicine container or a note from a child’s school.
In conclusion, personally, I reckon that Correct article usage
apply
government
should privilege children Correct article usage
the government
to educate
rather than Verb problem
apply
for
adults.Change preposition
apply
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay includes clear and fully developed ideas to strengthen the argument. This can be achieved by adding more specific examples and explanations for your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by clearly connecting your points within and between paragraphs. This will make your essay easier to follow.
general
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve readability. Try to avoid minor errors such as incorrect article usage and verb agreement.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear stance in the introduction and conclusion, which gives a strong impression of your viewpoint.
task achievement
You included relevant examples to support your argument, which enhances the credibility of your points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example