Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare people to be useful members of society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
According to some
Change preposition
Some
people
argue that the main reason for education is to gain knowledge to work for society, while
an opposing view says the motive for education is to develop personal enthusiasm. There are people
who aim to serve national service and individual people
have to build their empires.
firstly
, there are many humans who want to serve their nation, most have a goal to join in military, navy , police and other kinds of government jobs. It is beneficial for both themselves and society, there are many officers in the military so we can be safe in our homes. If someone has the knowledge to change the world it will help our country grow and trade. For example
, A.P.J Abdul Kalam is from a middle-class family, he had only education for his background and he became prime minister of our country and made rockets and many scientific instruments.
On the other side, in fact, many people
want to grow themselves and they want to have their own personal kingdom. They have a
knowledge to build Change the article
the
a
own companies that can help many unemployed Change the word
their
people
. when the entrepreneur wins in any particular field it will help society and humankind, so the government can travel together with
them for many good results and good plans for our own people
. For instance
, we can take Mukesh Ambani as an example he made our
India proud throughout the world and he made many companies and gave jobs to their citizen.
In conclusion, In my opinionCorrect pronoun usage
apply
Add a comma
,
So some
of them are serving their nations and many working for their own success, so let them live their life happily.Rephrase
Some
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coherence cohesion
Try to provide a clearer structure by separating the introduction and conclusion more distinctly from the body paragraphs. This will help in achieving a more organized flow.
task response
Make sure to clearly state the essay topic and your stance in the introduction. A clear topic sentence helps the reader understand your argument better.
task response
Some sentences are awkward or not entirely clear. Review your essay for grammatical issues and improve clarity.
task response
You have provided relevant examples which support your main points well.
task response
Your ideas are generally clear, and you have attempted to address both views as required by the task.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?