Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give ur opinion

#parents #childcare #centres #services #children #age #members #grandparents #carers #kids #ur

A significant amount of parents presume that childcare centres provide the best care for infants.

While

some other parents

due to

their various work schedules are of the opinion that extended family members will do better. I will be shedding light on both views

Change preposition

show examples

this

essay. On the one

Hand

Fix capitalization

hand

show examples

, Childcare centres provide extra attention to the

kids

because

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

are employed to do so.They

also

train the

kids

about

Change preposition

show examples

preschool activities like reading,painting,singing and writing.

Additionally

, they

also

train them on basic hygienes and methods to relate among their peers.

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

my nephew was enrolled at a care centre

down town

Correct your spelling

downtown

show examples

this

improved his ability to adapt faster than

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

of his peers during his schooling days.

On the other hand

, Family members

such

as grandparents introduce the

kids

to cultural heritage and society activities at an early age.The

kids

learn to speak the native language,greetings and other essentials.They

also

pay attention to the

childrens

Change to a genitive case

children's

show examples

daily activities because most grandparents are retired and they can dedicate maximum attention

Change preposition

show examples

the children. I am a product of

this

method,

Change the capitalization

show examples

was able to speak

yoruba

Change the capitalization

Yoruba

show examples

and

temne

Change the capitalization

Temne

show examples

languages at an early age because my grandpa is a

yoruba

Change the capitalization

Yoruba

show examples

man and my grandma is a

temne

Change the capitalization

Temne

show examples

woman. In my opinion, I concur with parents who think that childcare centres

gives

Change the verb form

give

show examples

the best services.

Submitted by adeyanjuroke123 on Mon Sep 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct and avoid minor errors like 'ur' instead of 'your.'

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence. For instance, 'On the one hand' could be 'Firstly, childcare centres provide...'

coherence cohesion

Provide a more developed conclusion that summarizes the key points discussed in the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses both views as requested and provides a clear opinion.

task achievement

Good use of examples to illustrate points, making the argument more compelling.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains an introduction and conclusion, making the structure complete.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

224 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Childcare centres
Preschool age
Working parents
Carers
Structured environment
Socialisation
Early childhood education
Cognitive development
Motor skills
Emotional connection
Traditions
Continuity
Flexibility
Caregivers
Professional care
Family involvement

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
In some countries the average of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the cause of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
In certain countries with a rapid increase in population, the level of physical well-being and fitness has been declining making it an issue of concern . The busy schedule and reluctant behaviour towards adopting a healthy lifestyle is the root cause of this ongoing issue, preventive measures are required to neutralize this trend. These issues need to be addressed by the government in order to propose more healthy lifestyle choices across the globe.
7
band
Some people claim that governments should take action to ensure that people have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, disagree and believe that people should decide for themselves which way they prefer to live their lives. Discuss both these views and give your opinion
How to uplift the lives of citizens is always a concerning issue for every government all over the world. This author opines that it is essential for the ministry to take action to make sure that everyone leads to a healthy lifestyle.
7
band
Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, there has been a growing discussion about the potential benefits of relocating large companies and industries from densely populated urban centers to regional areas. While this proposal may raise concerns, the advantages of such a move can significantly outweigh the disadvantages.
6.5
band
Some people say history is one of Is the most important school subjeother people think th bad in today's world subject like science And technology Are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While every subject at school is crucial to some extent, many people have different opinions and beliefs regarding this matter. Some individuals say that history is one of the most significant subject at school; However, others point out that modern subjects such as science and technology are more essential than history. In my view, I believe that history is one of the most important area of study in school.
6.5
band
Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
No one will argue that in this time the use of social media is at its peak. The impact of the digital world on people is enormous. It has changed the way individuals communicate with each other and stay informed about the world around them. Even if social media provides abundant of advantages in the way how the news spreads with high speed and allows people to communicate with each other easily, it also has some disadvantages. This essay will explore if the benefits of using social networks outweigh the drawbacks.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give ur opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In some countries the average of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the cause of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some people claim that governments should take action to ensure that people have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, disagree and believe that people should decide for themselves which way they prefer to live their lives. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say history is one of Is the most important school subjeother people think th bad in today's world subject like science And technology Are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+