In modern life, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food and in other products like clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Is it right to say that animals are no
more
Rephrase
longer
show examples
essential for the production of eatables, fabric and medicines? In
this
contemporary
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
people
shift
Wrong verb form
have shifted
show examples
their interest towards veganism and I
am strongly agree
Change the verb form
strongly agree
show examples
with
this
perspective. The following paragraphs will elaborate my point of view with supporting evidence. To start with, it is
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable
show examples
fact that meat is not known as
well
Add an article
a well
the well
show examples
renowned
Correct your spelling
well-renowned
show examples
source of
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
for no reason. Historically, human beings were mostly dependent on animal meat to get a
full of nutrients
Add a hyphen
full-of-nutrients
show examples
diet. But as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time evolves,
plant based
Add a hyphen
plant-based
show examples
alteratives
Correct your spelling
alternatives
show examples
are discovered with equal nutritional values.
Furthermore
,
dietry
Correct your spelling
dietary
products like milk, egg,
cheese
Correct word choice
and cheese
show examples
can be produced in labs which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not
diffrentiable
Correct your spelling
differentiable
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
the natural taste.
Moreover
, its ingredients
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
lesser fat and higher calcium value than the original ones. To cite an example,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research has been done by BBC in 2018, reveals that 60%
Indians
Change preposition
of Indians
show examples
started using processed cheese and
powder
Wrong verb form
powdered
show examples
milk and they have better health conditions than others who
relies
Change the verb form
rely
show examples
on meat.
Therefore
, killing animals is really not required to fulfil human
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
food demands. Probing
further
, it can be said that, previously
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
winter fabrics like wool, faux fur and leather
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
derived from the Fauna skin and their bones
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
used for preparing medications. But as the era changed, folks
shift
Wrong verb form
shifted
show examples
their interest
being
Change preposition
in being
show examples
vegetarian. So, the advancement in engineering find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative sources like
plant based
Add a hyphen
plant-based
show examples
leather, generating shag from cotton and
discover
Wrong verb form
discovering
show examples
synthetic drugs for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
.
Additionally
, most of the religions are against the animal hunting activities
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
For instance
, an article in "The
tribune
Capitalize word
Tribune
show examples
" written by
editor-inchief
Correct your spelling
editor-in chief
editor-in-chief
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
Walker on the topic "Vegetarian community" in 2018, stated that 38%
Change preposition
of sikhs
show examples
sikhs
Change the capitalization
Sikhs
show examples
in the world
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
wear and eat
animal based
Add a hyphen
animal-based
show examples
products.
As a result
, the use of wildlife is no more required in the production of cloth and medications. In conclusion,
although
we can produce flesh, high quality leather from animals
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
there is no compromise with the pious views of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
.
Also
,
eradication
Correct article usage
the eradication
show examples
of creatures is not an ethical practice. We have quality alternatives to fulfil our basic needs like food ,clothes and medications so there is no need to
diturb
Correct your spelling
disturb
wildlife.
Submitted by knavdeep3011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your task response is generally strong. You address the prompt effectively and provide relevant examples to support your points. To improve, try to include more varied examples and expand on counterarguments to create a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logical and easy to follow, but there are some areas where sentence structures could be improved for clarity. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion between your paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in setting a solid framework for your arguments.
task achievement
You provide specific examples, like the BBC research and The Tribune article, which add credibility to your arguments.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!