IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that one of the best ways to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cost #fuel #cars #vehicles
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed that increasing the price of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel for vehicles is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 effective way to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental pollution. I fully disagree with
this
 notion
due to
 the following reasons. 
To begin
 with, the first and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foremost reason in
this
 context is that
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
show examples
 cost of gas will not reduce the usage of vehicles.
In other words
, it will not
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the car owners.
For instance
, costly gas allows the owner to spend more at the pump, leaving less to spend on other goods and services.
Thus
, higher prices of gas
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 zero impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals.
Furthermore
, it will increase the cost of using public transportation. Public transportation
such
 as buses,
airlines
Correct word choice
and airlines
show examples
 would increase their fares as they are the most important input of transportation.
Poeple
Correct your spelling
People
 still need to travel whether by their private automobiles or by public
transits
Fix the agreement mistake
transit
show examples
. 
As a result
 of
this
, inflation can be caused. In the gist of the above contents, it can be concluded that increasing the price of fuel is not the only
soultion
Correct your spelling
solution
 we need
ro
Correct your spelling
to
 protect our environment. There are other practices and rules that we can follow to save the environment from damage.
Submitted by harkdhaliwal00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To increase your score in the 'Task Achievement' category, ensure that your ideas are fully developed. Expand on your points with more detailed explanations and consider potential counterarguments to make your position more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
For 'Coherence and Cohesion,' work on creating smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to make your argument flow more naturally. Using linking words and phrases effectively will help improve this aspect.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
task achievement
You have presented understandable and relevant ideas in response to the task prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental sustainability
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • public transportation
  • carbon footprint
  • economic incentives
  • alternative energy vehicles
  • fuel-efficient
  • government subsidies
  • economic disparity
  • urban planning
  • rural infrastructure
  • sustainable development
  • carbon tax
  • green technology
  • demand elasticity
  • energy conservation
  • climate change mitigation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: