IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the media (newspapers) have the right to publish details of people,s private life while others think it should be controlled. Discuss both views.

#people #media #newspapers #right #life
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Most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
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 believe that printing media is suitable for publishing the personal
life
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 of an individual
while
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 others think that it is actionable to print
someone
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's private
life
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.In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both points of view. On the one hand, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
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 assume that printing individual
life
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 in the newspaper is a beneficial activity because newspapers shape our attitudes, opinions,
beliefs
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and beliefs
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 about
the
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people
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 around the world that's why printing the
life
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 of famous
people
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 alters our attitude toward the special circumstances beside that, reading about the
life
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 of
people
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 makes it easier to deal with the wilder situations.
Moreover
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,
people
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 come to know the hardship of
someone
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's
life
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 .
For example
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, using the data from the national survey of US newspapers, the study examines the attitude toward
news
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 coverage of personal
life
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, almost 80% of
people
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 agree with
this
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 .
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 think that it is delinquent to cast
a
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news
a piece of news
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news
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 about the private lives of individuals because of emotional, cognitive, and behavioural consequences that may result from the disinformation about
someone
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's
life
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 despite
of
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apply
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this
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, misinformation leads to suicidal effects.casting fake
news
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 about
someone
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's private
life
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 causes depression in their families that's why the government should take responsibility for controlling the fake
news
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 about
someone
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.
For instance
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in
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apply
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one study
it
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apply
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has bees shown that 75% of suicide rates
because
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are because
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 of fake
news
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of
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about
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 personal
life
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.
To sum up
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, to cast
a
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apply
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news
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 of private
life
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 in the newspaper has some pros and cons sometimes it is beneficial for economic development but it has some crucial effects.In my opinion, it should be banned.
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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coherence cohesion
Clearly separate and elaborate on each point of view in different paragraphs, ensuring each has its own supporting evidence and examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next with appropriate linking words and clear structure.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support each point, ensuring they directly relate to the main argument presented.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on some ideas, making sure they are fully comprehensive and relevant to the essay topic.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints clearly, giving a balanced perspective on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear personal opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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