Prevention is better than cure" Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

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this

Linking Words

age

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age,

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it is argued that preventing any kind of illness is more reasonable than finding new ways and treatments to heal it. I firmly believe that researchers should focus on arresting undesirable

sickness

Fix the agreement mistake

sicknesses

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Firstly

Linking Words

,sometimes finding new medical methods would be pointless after having dreadful diseases.

For example

Linking Words

, in some versions of

cancer

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cancer,

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it is crucial to cure in a short time,

Linking Words

otherwise

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otherwise,

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it may

conculude

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conclude

with death. In

this

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case

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case,

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the option emerges that if doctors discover new ways to prevent it would be feasible to save people who have

health

Use synonyms

problems rather than spending a lot of time and

money

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to cure it. Apart from that, treatments demand more

money

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which leads to

economical

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economic

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problems. All over the

world

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world,

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there are many patients who suffer from chronic illnesses but they can not afford to go hospital or get treatment.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

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of deaths

are

Change the verb form

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increasing.

Researches

Fix the agreement mistake

Research

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show

Verb problem

apply

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show

Correct subject-verb agreement

shows

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that during a year over one million patients die because of poor life and

ilness

Correct your spelling

illness

Fortunately

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Fortunately,

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there are some cases where people can cope with

this

Linking Words

problem.

For instance

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, after every six

months

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months,

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each pupil should go hospital and check their

health

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without

money

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with the help of

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

which

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would be beneficial for avoiding

such

Linking Words

kinds of

health

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issues. In conclusion, it is important to take some steps for

prevention

Correct article usage

the prevention

show examples

of these problems because it would require more amount of

money

Use synonyms

to cure any

health

Use synonyms

condition.

Submitted by nezerli.x12 on Mon Sep 23 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear standpoint and provides relevant examples. However, you might benefit from elaborating more comprehensively on each point to enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

While your essay has a logical structure, some of the transitions between points could be smoother. For instance, you could use more cohesive devices to ensure that your ideas flow more seamlessly from one paragraph to the next.

grammatical accuracy

There are occasional small errors in grammar and word choice. Paying slightly more attention to syntax and vocabulary usage would help in conveying your ideas even more clearly.

introduction

Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and your standpoint.

examples

The examples you used are relevant and help to illustrate your points well.

conclusion

You conclude effectively by summarizing your main argument and reinforcing the importance of preventative measures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

242 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

proactive
preventive measures
lifestyle diseases
public health
healthcare expenditure
cost-effective
chronic conditions
early detection
immunization
health promotion
risk factors
non-communicable diseases
disease surveillance
preventive diagnostics
health literacy
universal healthcare
primary prevention
secondary prevention
tertiary prevention

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Prevention is better than cure" Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

Fully explain your ideas

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? To reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages.

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.