Prevention is better than cure" Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

In
this
age
Add a comma
age,
show examples
it is argued that preventing any kind of illness is more reasonable than finding new ways and treatments to heal it. I firmly believe that researchers should focus on arresting undesirable
sickness
Fix the agreement mistake
sicknesses
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.
Firstly
,sometimes finding new medical methods would be pointless after having dreadful diseases.
For example
, in some versions of
cancer
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cancer,
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it is crucial to cure in a short time,
otherwise
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otherwise,
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it may
conculude
Correct your spelling
conclude
with death. In
this
case
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case,
show examples
the option emerges that if doctors discover new ways to prevent it would be feasible to save people who have
health
problems rather than spending a lot of time and
money
to cure it. Apart from that, treatments demand more
money
which leads to
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
problems. All over the
world
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world,
show examples
there are many patients who suffer from chronic illnesses but they can not afford to go hospital or get treatment.
For
this
reason, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of deaths
are
Change the verb form
is
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increasing.
Researches
Fix the agreement mistake
Research
show examples
show
Verb problem
apply
show examples
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
that during a year over one million patients die because of poor life and
ilness
Correct your spelling
illness
.
Fortunately
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Fortunately,
show examples
there are some cases where people can cope with
this
problem.
For instance
, after every six
months
Add a comma
months,
show examples
each pupil should go hospital and check their
health
without
money
with the help of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
would be beneficial for avoiding
such
kinds of
health
issues. In conclusion, it is important to take some steps for
prevention
Correct article usage
the prevention
show examples
of these problems because it would require more amount of
money
to cure any
health
condition.
Submitted by nezerli.x12 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear standpoint and provides relevant examples. However, you might benefit from elaborating more comprehensively on each point to enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, some of the transitions between points could be smoother. For instance, you could use more cohesive devices to ensure that your ideas flow more seamlessly from one paragraph to the next.
grammatical accuracy
There are occasional small errors in grammar and word choice. Paying slightly more attention to syntax and vocabulary usage would help in conveying your ideas even more clearly.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and your standpoint.
examples
The examples you used are relevant and help to illustrate your points well.
conclusion
You conclude effectively by summarizing your main argument and reinforcing the importance of preventative measures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proactive
  • preventive measures
  • lifestyle diseases
  • public health
  • healthcare expenditure
  • cost-effective
  • chronic conditions
  • early detection
  • immunization
  • health promotion
  • risk factors
  • non-communicable diseases
  • disease surveillance
  • preventive diagnostics
  • health literacy
  • universal healthcare
  • primary prevention
  • secondary prevention
  • tertiary prevention
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