Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
These days, the process of making food and drink products
contain
a massive amount of sugar, which leads to various health issues. Many Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
believes
that sweetened Change the verb form
believe
foods
should be made more expensive to encourage Use synonyms
people
to eat less sugar. Use synonyms
This
essay believes the notion above will make Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
to
stop Change the verb form
apply
consume
high levels of sugar because it will lower the number of Change the form of the verb
consuming
people
buying them and encourage them to buy healthy Use synonyms
foods
.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, most of the Linking Words
production's
demand comes from unhealthy Change noun form
production
foods
and Use synonyms
drinks
, Use synonyms
such
as sugary products. Eating these kinds of food usually Linking Words
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
people
Use synonyms
the
feeling of Correct article usage
a
hapiness
and satisfaction. But, consuming Correct your spelling
happiness
this
frequently will lead to numerous health problems, namely obesity and diabetes. One way to tackle Linking Words
this
is by making it more expensive so it will be hard for Linking Words
people
to buy them because it will cost them more money than they usually have. Use synonyms
For instance
, Coca-Cola's Linking Words
demands
for their products Fix the agreement mistake
demand
decrease
after they doubled the price.
Wrong verb form
decreased
While
the number of Linking Words
people
eating sweetened Use synonyms
foods
and Use synonyms
drinks
Use synonyms
have
gradually Correct subject-verb agreement
has
decrease
, they will try to find an alternative to replace it. Change the verb form
decreased
This
Linking Words
posibility
might give Correct your spelling
possibility
the
chance for more fruits and vegetables Correct pronoun usage
them the
in
their plate, as it is way easier to find veggies and fruits and Change preposition
on
it
cost less than unhealthy Correct pronoun usage
they
foods
. Use synonyms
For example
, supermarkets or local markets can start displaying more Linking Words
of
vegetables and fruit than processed Change preposition
apply
foods
or Use synonyms
drinks
.
In conclusion, eating sugary Use synonyms
foods
and Use synonyms
drinks
have a lot of negative Use synonyms
impact
towards our health. one way to solve Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
this
is by making all Linking Words
Linking Words
this
kinds of food and drink more expensive as it Change the determiner
these
promotes
Verb problem
encourages
people
to buy less and eat more healthy Use synonyms
foods
.Use synonyms
Submitted by ethia.oktaviani on
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Grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy and tense consistency throughout your writing. Minor grammatical errors can be distracting.
Content Development
Develop your main points more fully to strengthen your argument. Use more detailed examples and explanations.
Lexical Resource
Avoid repetition of words and phrases. Try to use a broader range of vocabulary to express similar ideas more creatively.
Structure
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
You've made relevant and specific points to support your main argument, such as the example of Coca-Cola.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall flow of ideas is logical, making your essay easy to follow.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...