IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year iy the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ie comparisons where relevant.

#uk #time #year #iy #information #features #ie #comparisons
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The table compares
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 amount of
time
 not-working people spent on their spare
time
 activities during
last
 year.
Overall
, women devoted most of their
time
 to housework and shopping,
while
 men were mostly occupied with finding a
job
, shopping and visiting relatives throughout the day.
To begin
, it is going to shops and household chores that females were invested in the most in the morning, with 26% and 49% respectively. Even though the numbers were almost two times lower in the
afternoon
 with 21% for housework and 17% for shopping, they still were the highest among the other categories
such
 as
meating
Correct your spelling
meeting
 with friends and searching for a
job
. In more
detail
Add a comma
detail,
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 it was 13% for looking for a
job
 and 17% for
sociolization
Correct your spelling
socialization
 in the
afternoon
.
Spaeking
Correct your spelling
Speaking
 about the lowest
percentactivities
Correct your spelling
per cent activities
, playing sports and drinking were the least interesting ways to spend free
time
in
Change preposition
apply
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both in the morning and in the
afternoon
 with only 1% involvement.
Moreover
, staying in bed and playing sports took up 0% among women in the
afternoon
. Regarding men, the highest numbers in the morning were for shopping and
job
 hunting, being 20% and 22% respectively.
On the other hand
, gardening and watching TV were the most popular
free
Add a hyphen
free-time
show examples
time
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 in the
afternoon
. As for the least preferable ways to spend leisure
time
, drinking
equaled
Change the spelling
equalled
show examples
 2% and 3% amongst men in the first part of the day and
after noon
Correct your spelling
afternoon
show examples
 respectively.
However
, the smallest number was for staying in bed for
afternoon
 activities, amounting to 1%.
Submitted by tyurina.98 on

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general
Ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct and free of typographical errors. This will improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Work on expanding your conclusion to provide a brief summary of your key points, which will help improve the overall cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of phrases. For example, the phrase 'in the morning' and 'in the afternoon' are repeated multiple times. Attempt using synonyms or rephrasing for better readability.
task achievement
Be sure to use specific data from the table effectively to support your main points. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
task achievement
Ensure all comparisons are clear and relevant to enhance your response to the task.
structure
You provide a clear overview in the introduction and a logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
Your response covers both genders and looks at the differences and similarities effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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