Some people think that public health of a country can be improved if the government make laws regarding nutritious food but others think that it is the matter of personal choice and personal responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #health #country #government #laws #food #matter #choice #responsibility

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Nowadays, it is a global problem that who should take responsibility for improving public health. The view of whether the

government

Use synonyms

ought to consider its citizens' healthcare or

each

Correct word choice

whether each

show examples

individual should take some steps for protection is advocated by a group of people. I partially support

this

Linking Words

viewpoint and I will elaborate my arguments in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,

Use synonyms

accept that the

government

Use synonyms

must involved in protecting their citizens' lives with the help of its vast amounts of money and types of equipment because individuals do not have enough power.

For example

Linking Words

, each year every country imports more than thousands of products from different parts of the world. The

government

Use synonyms

ought to accept some laws to ban imports of harmful nutrients which may lead to detrimental consequences

such

Linking Words

as cancer. Another reason why

Use synonyms

support

this

Linking Words

approach is healthy population may make a profound contribution to the country's economy and development.

For instance

Linking Words

, Monaco is the most wealthy country in the world , because their

government

Use synonyms

is interested in the public's health and lifestyle.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

true that each person is responsible for her or his life. There are several factors that why people should take some

actions

Fix the agreement mistake

action

show examples

to help themselves.

For example

Linking Words

, if someone goes to market he may consider the ingredients of each item , and

due to

Linking Words

Add a comma

it,

show examples

they can prevent an unhealthy diet.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, consumers

also

Linking Words

have to be aware of the calories of each meal and more likely to eat homemade meals. Because it has proven that eating out is not as beneficial as cooking fresh food. In conclusion,

Use synonyms

agree that the

government

Use synonyms

should take some actions to protect,

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

hold a view that pupils are responsible for their lives.

Submitted by nezerli.x12 on Tue Sep 24 2024

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General

Your essay generally addresses the topic and presents a clear argument. However, be mindful of typographical errors and minor grammatical issues that can distract the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve your coherence, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly with appropriate transitions between ideas and sections. You can use more linking words and phrases to enhance the readability.

Task Achievement

Each of your main points should be backed by more specific and varied examples. Try to include more concrete evidence and examples to strengthen your argument.

General

For a higher score, work on extending your vocabulary and employing more varied sentence structures. This will make your writing more engaging and sophisticated.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in conveying your argument effectively.

Task Achievement

You provide a balanced view by discussing both perspectives, which is crucial for this type of essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Some people think that public health of a country can be improved if the government make laws regarding nutritious food but others think that it is the matter of personal choice and personal responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

You have recently migrated to another country. Now write this letter to your friend to describe your present life. In your letter say.. When you have moved to this country Why you chose this country How things are now for you

What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?

Some people believe teenagers should concentrate on all subjects, even ones they do not enjoy. Others, however, believe that teenagers should only focus on the subjects they are bast at or find most interesting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?