IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #divorce #rates #two #european #countries #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart above depicts information about the divorce data in two different countries, especially in Europe between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 2011 and 2015.
Overall
, it can be seen that at
first,
the divorce
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 in Finland was lower but
then
 gradually
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
.
On the other hand
, Sweden had
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
 patterns
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Finland,
initially
 the statistics
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 higher,
after
Correct word choice
but after
show examples
 that the
number
was continuously fall
Change the verb form
was continuously falling
show examples
.
Firstly
, in 2011, the divorce
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 in Finland was as
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 as 38 per
cent
. Afterwards, the
number
 was decreased to 32 per
cent
. Following that, from 2013 to 2015, the
number
 was steadily jumped. Respectively, 39 per
cent
, 41 per
cent
, and 42 per
cent
. On the other
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
, in 2011, Sweden began at 43 per
cent
. As soon as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the percentage was
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
show examples
 the peak at 49 per
cent
.
Besides
, in 2013, the
number
 was constantly slump to 48 per
cent
.
Besides
 that, the
number
 was consistently down
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 47 per
cent
.
Subsequently
,
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
show examples
 the bottom at 38 per
cent
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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