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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population In four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population In four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The graph shows the trend
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, adding predictions in 2030 and 2040. The percentage of Indonesia was in
last
Linking Words
 place with around 14% in 1970. The second place was Thailand with about 18%.
Philippines
Correct article usage
The Philippines
show examples
 and Malaysia were almost the same
number
Use synonyms
 with around 30%. These were in joint first in 1970. By the end of 2020, the rate of population in
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 grown up, Malaysia had a sharp rising,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
grows
Wrong verb form
has grown
show examples
 up to over 80%, placing
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 one position in 2020.
In addition
Linking Words
, the rate of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 slightly increased to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
twice that in 1970, placing
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 third in 2020. In second place in 2020 is Indonesia,
the
Rephrase
where the
show examples
 rate
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased sharply
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 over 60%. It is
forth
Correct your spelling
fourth
show examples
 of that in 1970. The
number
Use synonyms
 of Thailand
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 gradually increased to about 45%, placing
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 the bottom spot. The prediction in 2040
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 shown, the rating in 2040 is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
2020
Change preposition
in 2020
show examples
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of living in
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
 will be growing up.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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