IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
#value #country #exports #categories #percentage #change #category
The following chart illustrates the money earned from exporting different types of
products
 in a country during 2015 and 2016. The table displays the proportion of how the
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 in each category changed from 2015 to 2016. At first glance, it is evident that petroleum
products
 had the lion's share of the entire earnings from
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 over these two years.
In contrast
,
although
 textiles had a small share
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the money earned from
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 in 2015, the percentage change in
value
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was the highest from 2015 to 2016, compared to the other
export
products
. Looking at the details, over 60
billion
dollars
 were earned by exporting Petroleum
products
 in both 2015 and 2016. Interestingly, the
value
 of the
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 in
this
 category rose by 3% from 2015 to 2016. In terms of Engineered goods, the rate of
export
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 increased moderately by 8.5%, from less than 60
billion
dollars
 in 2015 to more than 60
billion
dollars
 in 2016. Taking a closer look at
Gems-and-jewellery
Correct article usage
the Gems-and-jewellery
show examples
 chart, the country earned over 40
billion
dollars
 by exporting gems and jewellery in both 2015 and 2016.
However
, the
exporting
Replace the word
export
show examples
value
 dropped by 5.18%. In the agricultural
products
 category, it can be seen that the
value
 of
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 had a slight increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 0.81%.
Lastly
, money earned from exporting
textile
Fix the agreement mistake
textiles
show examples
 were more than 20
billion
dollars
 and
half
Correct article usage
a half
show examples
 in 2015.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 it reached over 30
billion
dollars
 in 2016, having a significant rise
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 15.24%.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words products, export, value, billion, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • export value
  • trend analysis
  • anomalies
  • percentage change
  • sector analysis
  • global demand
  • domestic production
  • economic conditions
  • technological advancements
  • international regulations
  • economic growth
  • trade relations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: