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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
#value #country #exports #categories #percentage #change #category
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The following chart illustrates the money earned from exporting different types of
products
Use synonyms
 in a country during 2015 and 2016. The table displays the proportion of how the
Use synonyms
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 in each category changed from 2015 to 2016. At first glance, it is evident that petroleum
products
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 had the lion's share of the entire earnings from
Use synonyms
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 over these two years.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 textiles had a small share
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the money earned from
Use synonyms
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 in 2015, the percentage change in
value
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of
Change preposition
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was the highest from 2015 to 2016, compared to the other
export
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
. Looking at the details, over 60
billion
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dollars
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 were earned by exporting Petroleum
products
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 in both 2015 and 2016. Interestingly, the
value
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 of the
earning
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earnings
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 category rose by 3% from 2015 to 2016. In terms of Engineered goods, the rate of
export
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earning
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earnings
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 increased moderately by 8.5%, from less than 60
billion
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dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2015 to more than 60
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2016. Taking a closer look at
Gems-and-jewellery
Correct article usage
the Gems-and-jewellery
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 chart, the country earned over 40
billion
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dollars
Use synonyms
 by exporting gems and jewellery in both 2015 and 2016.
However
Linking Words
, the
exporting
Replace the word
export
show examples
value
Use synonyms
 dropped by 5.18%. In the agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 category, it can be seen that the
value
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 of
earning
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earnings
show examples
 had a slight increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 0.81%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, money earned from exporting
textile
Fix the agreement mistake
textiles
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 were more than 20
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 and
half
Correct article usage
a half
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 in 2015.
But
Correct word choice
However
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 it reached over 30
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2016, having a significant rise
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 15.24%.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words products, export, value, billion, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • export value
  • trend analysis
  • anomalies
  • percentage change
  • sector analysis
  • global demand
  • domestic production
  • economic conditions
  • technological advancements
  • international regulations
  • economic growth
  • trade relations
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