Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both this views and give your own opinion.

In recent decades, there are so many environmental
problems
that we need to tackle
such
as the rise of plastic bottles, water shortage,
climate
change
and the
loss
of particular
species
. Some people debate whether the
loss
of particular
species
of
plants
and
animals
is the most important environmental challenge or if there are some other crucial environmental
problems
. In my opinion, the most important problem in the field of environment is
climate
change
for several reasons which will be discussed in
this
essay.
Although
living organisms like
plants
and
animals
play an important role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and we need to take care of them,
climate
change
has influenced every part of the world, causing severe
problems
like global warming. One of the main
result
Change to a plural noun
results
show examples
of the earth getting warmer is the decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
rainfall in some countries and snowfall in others. Less
rainfalls
Fix the agreement mistake
rainfall
show examples
in an area with
dryer
Correct article usage
a dryer
show examples
climate
can lead to drought, where a couple of specific
plants
may no longer be able to grow. Some of these
plants
are food to particular
species
in that zone. When these
plants
are not available,
animals
that feed on them may
also
die from starvation.
Consequently
, particular
plants
Fix the agreement mistake
plant
show examples
or
animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
species
may be eliminated as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
of
climate
change
.
Moreover
, the decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
snowfall value caused by
climate
change
in areas like
Arctic
Correct article usage
the Arctic
show examples
zone can
also
have dire consequences. Snowfall keeps the temperature higher in these areas which are the home to some wild
animals
that need cold weather to survive,
such
as polar bears and penguins. If the temperature starts to rise, these
species
may die.
Thus
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate
change
is the main reason
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
loss
of specific
plants
and
animals
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cold habitats as well.
Furthermore
, global warming caused by
climate
change
has already made a number of ice mountains and glaciers
melted
Wrong verb form
melt
show examples
, increasing the sea water level. Islands are immersing in some parts of the oceans now. In conclusion, It is crucial to stop
climate
change
, as it is the most fundamental challenge
Correct pronoun usage
that existed
show examples
existed
Wrong verb form
exists
show examples
now. It can cause
species
loss
and numerous other
problems
. it is changing our world in a negative way. If we address the
climate
change
problem, we can
also
solve so many other
problems
such
as the
loss
of some
plants
and
animals
.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the task adequately, but ensure all arguments are explored in equal depth. The discussion on other environmental problems is a bit brief. Consider giving more balanced coverage to both views. This will help demonstrate a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Break up long paragraphs for better readability. Also, make sure each idea is developed fully in its own paragraph. This can help with the overall clarity and structure of your essay. Use more transition words to clearly show the relationships between your points.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your position well. This helps in establishing a clear argument and wrapping it up effectively.
supported main points
Main points are generally supported with examples and explanations, which strengthens your arguments. This demonstrates an effort to justify your claims with relevant details.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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