Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both this views and give your own opinion.
In recent decades, there are so many environmental
problems
that we need to tackle such
as the rise of plastic bottles, water shortage, climate
change
and the loss
of particular species
. Some people debate whether the loss
of particular species
of plants
and animals
is the most important environmental challenge or if there are some other crucial environmental problems
. In my opinion, the most important problem in the field of environment is climate
change
for several reasons which will be discussed in this
essay.
Although
living organisms like plants
and animals
play an important role in the
nature and we need to take care of them, Correct article usage
apply
climate
change
has influenced every part of the world, causing severe problems
like global warming. One of the main result
of the earth getting warmer is the decrease Change to a plural noun
results
of
rainfall in some countries and snowfall in others. Less Change preposition
in
rainfalls
in an area with Fix the agreement mistake
rainfall
dryer
Correct article usage
a dryer
climate
can lead to drought, where a couple of specific plants
may no longer be able to grow. Some of these plants
are food to particular species
in that zone. When these plants
are not available, animals
that feed on them may also
die from starvation. Consequently
, particular plants
or Fix the agreement mistake
plant
animals
Change the noun form
animal
species
may be eliminated as result
of Add an article
a result
climate
change
.
Moreover
, the decrease of
snowfall value caused by Change preposition
in
climate
change
in areas like Arctic
zone can Correct article usage
the Arctic
also
have dire consequences. Snowfall keeps the temperature higher in these areas which are the home to some wild animals
that need cold weather to survive, such
as polar bears and penguins. If the temperature starts to rise, these species
may die. Thus
, the
Correct article usage
apply
climate
change
is the main reason to
the Change preposition
for
loss
of specific plants
and animals
in the
cold habitats as well.
Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, global warming caused by climate
change
has already made a number of ice mountains and glaciers melted
, increasing the sea water level. Islands are immersing in some parts of the oceans now.
In conclusion, It is crucial to stop Wrong verb form
melt
climate
change
, as it is the most fundamental challenge Correct pronoun usage
that existed
existed
now. It can cause Wrong verb form
exists
species
loss
and numerous other problems
. it is changing our world in a negative way. If we address the climate
change
problem, we can also
solve so many other problems
such
as the loss
of some plants
and animals
.Submitted by ava.saljoughi on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the task adequately, but ensure all arguments are explored in equal depth. The discussion on other environmental problems is a bit brief. Consider giving more balanced coverage to both views. This will help demonstrate a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Break up long paragraphs for better readability. Also, make sure each idea is developed fully in its own paragraph. This can help with the overall clarity and structure of your essay. Use more transition words to clearly show the relationships between your points.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your position well. This helps in establishing a clear argument and wrapping it up effectively.
supported main points
Main points are generally supported with examples and explanations, which strengthens your arguments. This demonstrates an effort to justify your claims with relevant details.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example