IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should pearn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #reason #language #travel #work #country #someone #pearn
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The demand for educating a non-native language is ever-increasing in the modernized world. A few people argue that the only purpose of learning an external language is for working or travelling,
while
 others believe that there are many more reasons
to
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for
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this
 trend. Both these views will be explained and given a conclusion. On the one hand, it creates greater job opportunities for employees. They are able to communicate with other staff and managers, enabling a more friendly work-life environment because they can enjoy and understand others' ideas leading to lower stress and frustration.
Moreover
, they have the chance to make international connections with foreign industries that will lead to higher salaries and bonuses
while
 accessing the global market and
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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 investments for the future.
Additionally
, drivers
while
 travelling must be aware of road symbols and traffic regulations to reduce commuting time and possible accidents.
For example
, a traveller driving a car in China without knowing
Chinese
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the Chinese
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 will drive in
wrong
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the wrong
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directions
Fix the agreement mistake
direction
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, wasting time and
cause
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causing
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 accidents.
On the other hand
, foreign languages support education.
For instance
, children knowing other languages can understand and analyse subject-related topics deeply.
As a result
, it will foster their creativity, because of the variety of knowledge and experience gained through external sources.
Nevertheless
, candidates can learn about
history
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the history
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, culture, and traditions of other countries and they will have a rich diversity
about
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of
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 nations. Today, people are considering more about social class, racism, and disrespect for others' perspectives and the problem is
due to
 a lack of socialization with non-natives.
Therefore
, language plays an important role
to overcome
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in overcoming
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 these issues. In conclusion, personally, I believe that learning other languages for reasons like employing years and exploring are equally important to learning cultural values and researching, which enhances brain functioning and knowledge.
Submitted by Witharana Senesh Rasinda Wickramasinghe on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines both views you're discussing right from the beginning. This helps to frame your essay more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Though the essay is generally coherent, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Connect ideas with appropriate linking words to enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
While your main ideas are clear, ensure that each paragraph introduces a single point and elaborates on it fully before moving on to the next idea.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points, which can make your arguments more convincing and well-rounded.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which strengthens the argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and provides your opinion on the matter, which adds clarity to your stance.
task achievement
Main points are relevant to the topic and show a good understanding of the reasons for learning a foreign language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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