IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently bought a second-hand car from a company that sells used cars, but the car developed some problems. You have phoned, left messages and sent emails, but you have not heard anything from the company that sold you the car. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter explain the problems you have had in contacting the company, and explain your dissatisfaction describe the problems with the car tell the manager what you want him to do

#car #company #cars #messages #emails #manager #dissatisfaction
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Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Sim. I am writing
this
 letter to discuss
the
Change the word
my
show examples
 disappointment
from
Change preposition
with
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 the service and the
car
 which I bought
last
 month from your company. In August, I purchased
second-hand
Correct article usage
a second-hand
show examples
 Nissan
centra
Capitalize word
Centra
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 SV 2023
car
 from your Mississauga Jivan office. Before buying a
car
, I searched
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 and
then
 my friend gave me your number.
Beacuse
Correct your spelling
Because
 it is so hard to trust
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anyone,
its
Correct your spelling
it has
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 been only one month
I
Correct word choice
since I
show examples
bought the
car
.
Last
 week, I went to Toronto to see my parents and
then
 suddenly
car
 stopped and tried many to start. After trying , several times it
starts
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 and I was so stressed about it because again it
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
show examples
last
sunday
Change the capitalization
Sunday
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. After that
incident
Add a comma
incident,
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 I called the office but no one answered my call
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I had emailed
also
 so many times,
still
Correct word choice
but still
show examples
 no reply. I understand how busy you are, but helping customers is
also
 very important. So,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 my humble request to give
call
Add an article
a call
show examples
 back or respond
my
Change preposition
to my
show examples
 emails and I will discuss the problem. Hope to hear back soon Yours sincerely Sim
Submitted by kaursaijbir on

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structure
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your points. For example, you could separate the description of the purchase and service issue from the description of the car's problem and your request for action.
clarity
Ensure that your explanations are clear and concise. You could be more explicit about what specific actions you expect the manager to take, such as a repair, a replacement or a refund.
tone
The letter is polite and maintains a formal tone, which is suitable for this context.
task response
You have clearly explained both the problems with the car and your difficulties in contacting the company, addressing the task requirements well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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