You and your teenage daughter visited the local library last weekend to find books for her school project. After searching for some time, you realized that the library did not have any books on the subject. This is not the first time that the library did not have something you need. Describe what you were trying to find. Explain why you needed the book and how you tried to find it. Suggest what the library can do to help you find the information you need.

#daughter #library #weekend #books #school #project #time #first #book #information

Dear Librarian, I am writing

this

email to express my concern about finding science

books

required by my teenage daughter for a school project. I would like to explain what we have been trying to look for in the library.

Last

Friday, my daughter and I visited the Marpole library because she needs science

books

related to the Universe since she has a school assignment, unfortunately, we could not find any book with reliable information about

this

topic.

Also

, the same happened

last

month, searching

some

Change preposition

for some

show examples

Math

books

for my son. The importance of

this

material is that

this

is the final project of the subject.

Therefore

, my daughter should find recent publishments or

books

about The Universe's creation soon to complete her task on time. After walking around the library for 1 hour and checking all the categories, we felt frustrated as we didn't achieve our purpose. Considering

this

hurry necessity, I would to ask for your support if you could kindly help us to obtain some material from other libraries nearby. It will be very helpful and we will appreciate it. Thanks in advance for your consideration and assistance. Mary Liu

Submitted by mariajoser3 on Wed Sep 25 2024

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task achievement

While the task response is mostly complete, providing a little more detail about the specific aspects of the Universe's creation your daughter needs information on could make the request more compelling.

task achievement

Consider expanding on how the lack of resources has impacted your ability to complete school projects in the past. Pulling in these examples would strengthen the need for better library resources.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence by explicitly stating when you transition from discussing the problem to suggesting a solution. Phrases like "Considering these issues" or "To address this problem" might help.

coherence cohesion

Ensure all sentences flow smoothly from one another. For example, after mentioning the difficulty in finding books, immediately propose the library's assistance as a solution to make it logical.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction clearly outlines the purpose of your email, making it easy for the reader to understand your concern from the outset.

task achievement

You provided relevant and specific examples of the types of books you're seeking and the challenges you've encountered, making your points clear and compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

193 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Challenge 4 : In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

online education is becoming more and more popular .Some people claim the e-learning has so many benifits that it will replace face to face education soon.Others say that tradational education is irreplaceable.Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people see sports only as a leisure activity, while others believe sports play a more important role. Discuss both views and give your option.

Some schools prefer to teach specialised subjects to students after the age of 15, while others suggest that all the subjects should be taught throughout school life. What are the benefits of these 2 approaches? Which one is better, in your opinion?