You and your teenage daughter visited the local library last weekend to find books for her school project. After searching for some time, you realized that the library did not have any books on the subject. This is not the first time that the library did not have something you need. Describe what you were trying to find. Explain why you needed the book and how you tried to find it. Suggest what the library can do to help you find the information you need.

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Dear Librarian, I am writing
this
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email to express my concern about finding science
books
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required by my teenage daughter for a school project. I would like to explain what we have been trying to look for in the library.
Last
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Friday, my daughter and I visited the Marpole library because she needs science
books
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related to the Universe since she has a school assignment, unfortunately, we could not find any book with reliable information about
this
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topic.
Also
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, the same happened
last
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month, searching
some
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for some
show examples
Math
books
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for my son. The importance of
this
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material is that
this
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is the final project of the subject.
Therefore
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, my daughter should find recent publishments or
books
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about The Universe's creation soon to complete her task on time. After walking around the library for 1 hour and checking all the categories, we felt frustrated as we didn't achieve our purpose. Considering
this
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hurry necessity, I would to ask for your support if you could kindly help us to obtain some material from other libraries nearby. It will be very helpful and we will appreciate it. Thanks in advance for your consideration and assistance. Mary Liu
Submitted by mariajoser3 on

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task achievement
While the task response is mostly complete, providing a little more detail about the specific aspects of the Universe's creation your daughter needs information on could make the request more compelling.
task achievement
Consider expanding on how the lack of resources has impacted your ability to complete school projects in the past. Pulling in these examples would strengthen the need for better library resources.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by explicitly stating when you transition from discussing the problem to suggesting a solution. Phrases like "Considering these issues" or "To address this problem" might help.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all sentences flow smoothly from one another. For example, after mentioning the difficulty in finding books, immediately propose the library's assistance as a solution to make it logical.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction clearly outlines the purpose of your email, making it easy for the reader to understand your concern from the outset.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples of the types of books you're seeking and the challenges you've encountered, making your points clear and compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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