IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

#plans #show #park #first
The two floorplans give information about the development that
has taken
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 place in a public
park
 when it first opened in 1920 compared to today using labels and pictures. At first glance,
it is clear that
 the fountain and music stage
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been replaced with
rose
Correct article usage
a rose
show examples
garden
 and amphitheatre, respectively.
Moreover
, other amenities
also
 have been developed all over the
park
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
garden
,
while
 the entrance on the north and south remain the same, the water fountain
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
park
 has been replaced with
rose
Correct article usage
a rose
show examples
garden
 with seats around it.
Additionally
, on the west side, a stage for musicians has been turned into
amphiteatre
Correct your spelling
amphitheatre
while
 the seats and the southern rose
garden
 have been removed. On the east side of the
park
, the rose
garden
 and the pond have been turned into a cafe and a children's playing area, respectively.
In addition
, the glasshouse
also
 has been transformed into a water feature
while
 a new entrance from
underground
Add an article
the underground
show examples
 car
park
 has replaced the seats.
Submitted by aribawadzaki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure the use of articles such as 'the' and 'a' consistently to improve sentence clarity. For example, 'the central part of the garden' instead of 'the center of the garden.'
coherence cohesion
Consider adding a concluding paragraph to summarize the main points, enhancing the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific details or comparisons to better illustrate changes. For example, mention how the new features improve functionality or usage of the park.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies significant changes in the park layout, clearly indicating the areas that have been modified.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear structure, which helps in presenting the information in an understandable manner.
coherence cohesion
The language used is largely clear and easy to understand which aids in conveying the main ideas effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
What to do next:
Look at other essays: