As the result of tourisms and the incresing number of people traveling, there's an growing demand for more flights. What problems does it have on the enviroment? What measures could be taken to solve the problem?

Rising
Correct article usage
The rising
show examples
demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
travelling has affected a number of
flights
.
However
, the significant
demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
flights
might cause some environmental problems,
such
as air pollution which should be encountered by some solutions which will be examined in
this
essay. First of all, a massive
demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
flights
will cause more air pollution because plane releases the highest amount of carbon emissions per
passengers
Fix the agreement mistake
passenger
show examples
, compared to buses or trains.
This
is because most of
planes
Add an article
the planes
show examples
, particularly on commercial
planes
, are still using fossil fuels as their primary resources. Even though some researchers have
taken
Verb problem
done
show examples
some
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
on electric
planes
or
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using other sustainable fuels, the
aircrafts
Correct your spelling
aircraft
show examples
are quite difficult to
be converted
Wrong verb form
convert
show examples
due to
many
constrains
Correct your spelling
constraints
show examples
that affect
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
safety,
such
as minimum weights and battery capacity.
Therefore
, in order to solve the problem, the government should take an important role by encouraging
people
to choose other clean transportation modes,
such
as trains and electric buses. By giving some incentives and campaigns, tourists will tend to choose other transportation modes.
Furthermore
, the government can encourage
people
to go
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
local travel destinations.
As a result
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists do not have to travel by
planes
Fix the agreement mistake
plane
show examples
and choose their local destinations to travel.
Furthermore
,
this
solution will
also
have positive impacts
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the economy of local communities. In conclusion, a significant
demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
flights
will have negative impacts on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
because
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of
planes
are still using fossil fuels that release high
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of carbon emissions.
Hence
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should take some
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
by encouraging
people
to use other cleaner
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
and promote their local destinations to reduce travelling.
Submitted by bhaswarawira on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your response to the task is clear and comprehensive, but you could further improve by providing more examples and details to support your main points. This would give the reader more concrete evidence of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structure and make use of complex sentences to enhance the readability and flow of your essay. This can help in making your argument more compelling and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented and give a clear framework to your essay. This helps in providing a logical structure to your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the question effectively, offering a clear response to the environmental problems associated with increased flights and suggesting viable solutions.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: