The natural resources, such as oil, forests, and water, are being consumed at an alarming rate, what problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems?

In
modern
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the modern
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world, the consumption of natural
resources
is at
an
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a
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never-before-seen pace.
This
has caused a lot of negative consequences
to
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for
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the environment. In my opinion, there are many solutions we can deal with
this
issue.
To begin
with, consuming natural
resources
such
as
oil
and
forest
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forests
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at a rapid pace
lead
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leads
show examples
to severe problems. In terms of deforestation, cutting down
tree
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trees
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for agriculture or other purposes
such
as expanding road infrastructure
arouse
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arouses
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the loss and disruption of natural habitats and living individuals. Amazon is home
for
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to
show examples
30% of the planet’s biodiversity but between 2001 and 2020, it lost more than 54 million hectares
forest
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of forest
show examples
lead
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leading
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to over 10.000 species
are
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being
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at high risk of extinction.
Furthermore
, every
households
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household
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have
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has
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at least one personal vehicle using
oil
to operate,
thus
the overused crude
oil
and
also
the carbon emissions. Many regions now have to deal with searing heat and temperatures soar above the average summer,
other
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and other
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areas have to suffer from widespread flooding. To tackle
this
problem, proactive measures by the authorities and so
does
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do
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the
civilian
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civilians
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need to be taken. On the government
levels
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level
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, stringent policies must be banned to get rid of
deforestation
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the deforestation
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crisis. In today’s modern society, people should raise awareness and propaganda by using social networking
site
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sites
show examples
. On the residence side, buying a hybrid car, which can use alternative energy
instead
of
oil
or installed solar heating could reduce the carbon footprint by using fossilized fuels.
In addition
, several steps could be taken by
government
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the government
show examples
and individuals to solve these. In conclusion, despite of essential natural
resources
bring
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brought
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into our
life
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lives
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, there are a lot of alternative energy
resources
can
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that can
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be developed.
Submitted by changbiu on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the issue but could benefit from more in-depth analysis and a clearer presentation of your main points.
task achievement
Ensure that every main point in your essay directly supports your argument and is backed by specific examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your paragraphs. Some ideas appear abruptly and could be linked more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Consider dividing your essay into more paragraphs for better clarity. For example, each solution could have its own paragraph.
task achievement
You have successfully identified key problems that the consumption of natural resources is causing, such as deforestation and the overuse of oil.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
You provided specific examples, such as the deforestation of the Amazon and the risk of species extinction, which make your argument more compelling.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • non-renewable resources
  • economic instability
  • water shortages
  • agricultural production
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • global warming
  • sustainable management
  • conservation
  • alternative energy
  • afforestation
  • reforestation
  • water conservation
  • responsible consumption
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