IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information about the diet and general health of two groups of students. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about the diet and general health of two groups of students. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The charts indicate the data on diet and general health separated by two groups of students.
While
Linking Words
, the table presents the percentage of quantity who are overweight, illnesses in the past year and attendance at class compared by
group
Use synonyms
 A and
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear to see that the figure of pieces who prefer
food
Use synonyms
 with a high-fat content in
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 is more than students in
group
Use synonyms
 A almost twice as much. Alternatively, the percentage of proportion who chose fruit and vegetables in
group
Use synonyms
 A is more than another
group
Use synonyms
.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the table graph demonstrates that the percentage of BMI and attendance in classes A
also
Linking Words
 more than in
B
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, regarding the consumption of people in
group
Use synonyms
 A it is noticed that most of the students in
this
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 are more concerned with
food
Use synonyms
 than
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 as 23% of them prefer vegetables
on the other hand
Linking Words
 only 5% of
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 choose it.
Also
Linking Words
 with fruit, even only 8% of the fresher in the first
group
Use synonyms
 ate it which is a lower numeral than other kinds of
food
Use synonyms
 but I still more than the second
group
Use synonyms
 only 5%.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, both the amount of proportion who choose cereals and fish have the same total.
However
Linking Words
, a large difference symbol is junk
food
Use synonyms
 as only 30% of
Group
Use synonyms
 A chose it and 50% of
Group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 selected it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the table is related to the paragraph mentioned at the top. As 10% of overweight in
group
Use synonyms
 A when compared with another one, it is quite better than
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 that have an
overall
Linking Words
 BMI of 20%
as well as
Linking Words
, and 90% of people in
group
Use synonyms
 A attend the class meanwhile only 75% of
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 do it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ordinal of illnesses in the past year in
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 is more than in
group
Use synonyms
 A around 7

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, overall".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words group, b, food with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • percentage
  • consumption
  • nutritional intake
  • exercise habits
  • Body Mass Index (BMI)
  • health-related issues
  • average
  • comparison
  • general well-being
  • dietary habits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: