Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

#people #content #internet #government #websites #control #information

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There is an ongoing issue that there is a huge amount of harmful content

is

Unnecessary verb

apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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available on the

internet

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. They believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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government

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

involvement is the only viable solution to

made

Change the form of the verb

make

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb made. Consider changing it.

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the

internet

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

safe for people by blocking the content of

websites

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I firmly believe that these

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

It seems that type may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of harmful sites should be blocked and ensure that only

18 plus

Add a hyphen

18-plus

It seems that 18 plus is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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adults can have access to

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

internet

Add an article

the internet

The noun phrase internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and social

media

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Nowadays,

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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are

Change the verb form

is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject internet. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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full of harmful posts. There are various vulgar

websites

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on

the

Correct article usage

apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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digital

media

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which are the reason behind various crimes in

the

Correct article usage

apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society

such

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as rapes, harassment, sexual blackmailing etc.

For example

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, recent studies in the USA

has

Change the verb form

have

The verb has does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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shown that there is around

70

Correct article usage

a 70

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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% increase in Rape cases

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb compare. Consider changing it.

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to the previous decades.

Additionally

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, rapists admit that they are addicted to

the

Correct article usage

apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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porn which made them to do

this

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

kind of heinous crime.

Moreover

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,

government

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

officials should ban these

websites

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from the

internet

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and arrest their creators and owners. Young children,

For instance

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, are using social

media

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

daily. The excessive use of digital

media

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

made them lazy and addicted to mobile phones.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,

this

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

addiction is bad not only for their mental health

as well as

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for their physical health.

Hence

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the

government

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should verify a person before creating any individual social

media

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

account.

For example

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Facebook launched their new Verification system for new users. Only real 18-plus adults can use Facebook

,

Remove the comma

apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because they have to show their ID Card. In Conclusion, the most viable solution is that the organizations can restrict the

websites

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which are the causes of many serious

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

It seems that crime may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in the local community.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the

government

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can allow the usage of social

media

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to only 18 plus adults.

kirivlogs0Wed Sep 25 2024

task achievement

The essay needs a clearer thesis statement. While the writer outlines their stance, the central argument should be more explicitly stated in the introduction to help guide the reader.

task achievement

There are grammatical inaccuracies that slightly hinder readability. Proofreading the essay for subject-verb agreement, article usage, and other grammar issues can enhance clarity.

task achievement

Some ideas could be developed further. For example, the point about children using social media and becoming lazy could benefit from more specific examples or data to make the argument stronger.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure can be refined. Some points could be arranged better to ensure a smooth flow from one paragraph to the next.

coherence cohesion

Linking words and phrases could be used more effectively to enhance the flow of ideas. More connectives like 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'For instance' using a greater variety can improve the cohesion.

task achievement

The writer presents a clear position on the topic of internet censorship, making it evident what their stance is from the beginning.

task achievement

Relevant and specific examples are provided, such as the reference to the study in the USA and Facebook's verification system, which helps to support the main points of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and perform their roles effectively. The conclusion sums up the main arguments well and reinforces the writer's stance.

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

everyone should stay in school untill the age of 18, considering the significance or the primary and secondary level education in a learner's life. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Dose this situation have more advantages or more disadvantage.

In many countries not enough students are choosing to study science at university. What are the causes of this? What effects does it have on society?

People should be at least 21 years old before they are allowed to drive a car. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.