Some people think that competition at work,at school and in daily life is a good thing.Others believe that we should try to cooperate more , rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some individuals believe that competing against one another can improve their education , vocation , and daily lifestyle whilst
others
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consider working with each other as a faster way to accomplish their goals. Both views have their pros and cons as discussed in the following paragraphs. On one hand, considering
life
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as a race may lead to faster progress. It is because recent studies have shown individual who rely on themselves when facing a problem end up learning different solutions to a variety of issues
as a result
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, when they confront a problem in their
life
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they have more answers
for
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apply
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that compared to
others
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may help them to proceed faster in their
life
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.
Moreover
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, having a competitive attitude toward
life
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instils the same sense that an athlete experiences when participating in a real competition
thus
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, they put their maximum effort into winning the race which can lead to an increase in their productivity.
However
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,
this
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attitude may bring up
sense
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a sense
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of envy when
others
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accomplish something which they have planned to achieve but failed in the procedure. On the other side of the spectrum ,
people
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who tend to cooperate with
others
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may have slower progress but get more comfort from
others
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.
In contrast
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, when
people
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feel belong to a group get more
pshycological
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psychological
support in harsh times.
For example
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,
people
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who collaborate as a team can ask
others
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about the solution to the issue they have been facing or even they can request to handle the problem beside them and
this
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can help to feel that they are not alone.
Additionally
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, consulting with each other sometimes brings up bright ideas which can be used against problems.
However
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, some
people
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may abuse the help they can get from
others
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to get the best out of group work
this
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situation should be restricted. In conclusion, both collaboration and being solo in every aspect of
life
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such
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as work, education , and daily
life
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have their advantages and drawbacks but from my perspective benefits that come from cooperation are much more valuable.

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task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides an opinion, fulfilling the basic requirements of the task. To improve, ensure that the examples used are more specific and directly support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using more cohesive devices and transitioning more smoothly between ideas will help to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
To bolster your main points, provide more detailed and varied examples. Specific instances will make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear discussion of both views and concludes with the author's opinion, addressing the prompt effectively.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, is clearly organized.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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