Some people think that competition at work,at school and in daily life is a good thing.Others believe that we should try to cooperate more , rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life

Some individuals believe that competing against one another can improve their education , vocation , and daily lifestyle whilst

others

consider working with each other as a faster way to accomplish their goals. Both views have their pros and cons as discussed in the following paragraphs. On one hand, considering

life

as a race may lead to faster progress. It is because recent studies have shown individual who rely on themselves when facing a problem end up learning different solutions to a variety of issues

as a result

, when they confront a problem in their

life

they have more answers

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that compared to

others

may help them to proceed faster in their

life

Moreover

, having a competitive attitude toward

life

instils the same sense that an athlete experiences when participating in a real competition

thus

, they put their maximum effort into winning the race which can lead to an increase in their productivity.

However

this

attitude may bring up

sense

Add an article

a sense

show examples

of envy when

others

accomplish something which they have planned to achieve but failed in the procedure. On the other side of the spectrum ,

people

who tend to cooperate with

others

may have slower progress but get more comfort from

others

In contrast

, when

people

feel belong to a group get more

pshycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

support in harsh times.

For example

people

who collaborate as a team can ask

others

about the solution to the issue they have been facing or even they can request to handle the problem beside them and

this

can help to feel that they are not alone.

Additionally

, consulting with each other sometimes brings up bright ideas which can be used against problems.

However

, some

people

may abuse the help they can get from

others

to get the best out of group work

this

situation should be restricted. In conclusion, both collaboration and being solo in every aspect of

life

such

as work, education , and daily

life

have their advantages and drawbacks but from my perspective benefits that come from cooperation are much more valuable.

Submitted by mehdi1998d on Wed Sep 25 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses both views and provides an opinion, fulfilling the basic requirements of the task. To improve, ensure that the examples used are more specific and directly support your main points.

coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using more cohesive devices and transitioning more smoothly between ideas will help to improve coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

To bolster your main points, provide more detailed and varied examples. Specific instances will make your arguments more convincing and relatable.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear discussion of both views and concludes with the author's opinion, addressing the prompt effectively.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, is clearly organized.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work,at school and in daily life is a good thing.Others believe that we should try to cooperate more , rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Living in a country where you have to speak in a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Do you have difficulty writing a to what extent do you agree or disagree essay?