The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services

The importance of performing arts

such

as music and

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

show examples

has been clearly neglected in the past decade and

thus

some people believe that the government is wasting its

money

investing in them and should put its

money

into public services

instead

. Personally,I think that

art

isn't a waste of

money

but is where the true investment lies.

To begin

,the importance of

art

isn't just limited to leisure benefits.To illustrate,it's been proven that it can act as a therapeutic relief,a

conduct

Correct your spelling

conduit

show examples

for self-expression or just a way to understand life

this

can be shown by looking into ancient civilizations,we find that those that excelled in

art

showed brilliance in all other life aspects

such

as philosophy and science.

In addition

,entertainment places

such

as theatres and museums contribute to evolving the economy of a country.

Such

that, the

money

spent is paid off. Going to the other side of the argument,there are already multiple investments from national and international corporations dedicated to the improvement of public facilities.

Therefore

,it would be more beneficial if people in charge put their

money

in the place where it's needed the most willing for the best result.

Nevertheless

art

has the ability to transform less evolved communities and cultures into noble ones.

This

is because

art

helps in the purification of souls and minds from all negative thoughts.

To sum up

,I am completely against those who say that

art

is a waste of

money

due to

its huge effect on the improvement of humans,communities and economies.

Submitted by m.mahmoud.2005 on Wed Sep 25 2024

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task response

Clarify and expand on specific examples to enhance the essay's depth. Providing more concrete data or historical examples would strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Smooth out transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay. Using varied linking words can also enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that every paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are developed systematically. This helps in maintaining the logical structure of the essay.

task response

You provided a clear stance on the topic, which is well supported throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, effectively framing the main arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your arguments are mostly cohesive and logically structured, contributing to an overall solid essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural heritage
public services
economic benefits
mental health
well-being
equitable access
creativity
innovation
prioritize
essential services
healthcare
education
tourism
global recognition
holistic development
mutually exclusive
philanthropy
subsidize
infrastructure
socio-economic status
altruistic
civic engagement
aesthetics
civic pride
utilitarian

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The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Living in a country where you have to speake a forigen language can cause serious problems, as well as practical problems. To what extant do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Students at schools and universities learn far more by lessons with their teachers compared to other sources (e.g. television, the Internet). Do you agree or disagree?

tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, other claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give your opinion.

Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extend do you agree or disagree

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right.