The government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often believed that companies not equipped with
facilities
to treat their harmful
waste
should be abandoned by the
government
to protect the environment. I partially agree with
this
, for
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
threat to nature regardless of the important roles of
industries
from economic perspectives. On the one hand, the
government
should not allow factories without their own
facilities
to treat
waste
to run as they impose more serious damage to the environment.
In other words
, there are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accelerating concerns of environmental destruction with air and water polluted severely by their chemical
waste
, which is not treated properly.
For instance
, the distribution of water with a high level of nitrogen in Kanagawa, which has the largest number of factories, not only contaminates the ocean but
also
various marine
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
, leading to their deaths.
Thus
,
such
extensive harm
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the environment should be prevented by the
government
putting a harsher restriction on
industries
.
On the other hand
, the
government
should allow companies to run even without their
facilities
to treat
waste
, considering
incredible
Correct article usage
the incredible
show examples
economic benefits that they give to a nation. Indeed, factories support various economic activities as they manufacture essential products to meet
different
Correct article usage
the different
show examples
needs of consumers. To illustrate
this
, almost 80% of national margins
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
from
industries
in Japan in 2020.
Therefore
, stopping their business can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
stagnant economy, causing a number of social issues
such
as poverty and a higher
unmemployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
rate. In conclusion, I somewhat agree that
industries
without
facilities
to deal with dangerous
waste
should be prohibited by the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
because of the severe damage to nature including
wildlives
Correct your spelling
wildfires
wildlife
wild lives
.
However
, the
government
needs to encourage their business so as not to stop its growth.
Submitted by mizuho on

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task achievement
Ensure complete response by elaborating more on how balancing economic benefits and environmental protection could be achieved, perhaps through examples or alternate solutions like government funding for waste treatment facilities.
coherence cohesion
Transition words and phrases could be used more effectively to make the essay flow more smoothly from one idea to another.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, ensuring a well-rounded response.
logical structure
Main points are logically structured and supported with relevant examples.
complete response
Addresses the topic well, providing a balanced view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • toxic waste materials
  • waste treatment facility
  • sustainable business practices
  • environmental protection
  • economic impact
  • stringent regulations
  • government intervention
  • environmental outcomes
  • ethical responsibility
  • enforcing responsibilities
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