Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?

#people #government #money #arts #dis

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One of the most controversial topics today relates to how the government should allocate their budget.

Although

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some individuals claim that other

fields

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rather than the

arts

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should be supported

finacially

Correct your spelling

financially

, I totally oppose

this

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view. In

this

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essay, I elaborate on my standpoint. The primary reason why I believe that the authorities should provide monetary support to their cultural parts like the

arts

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is that they are

volunerable

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vulnerable

fields

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. Despite

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

importance, cultural

centers

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centres

show examples

such

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as museums and art galleries, which provide citizens with opportunities to learn

arts

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, are not able to produce sufficient money to run them.

Threfore

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Therefore

, if any subsidies from the authorities are cut off, they will face difficulty establishing their revenue sources, and in the worst scenario, the society will lose places to enjoy them, and it will lead to the decline of their understanding

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show examples

the

arts

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. Another justification for my view is that the art

fields

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function as educational institutions. not only do museums hold exhibitions but they

also

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take roles of preserving precious exhibits and doing research on them. In doing so, they will

Unnecessary verb

apply

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discover something new, and they can offer profound insight to visitors.

In contrast

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, if they are not bolstered by the government, curators are not likely to proceed

their

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with their

show examples

studies. On top of

this

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, their precious items will not be preserved in a suitable condition and be ruined, and they will be lost forever. In conclusion,

while

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some argue that the government budget should not be

spend

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spent

show examples

on the

arts

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but

alternative

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on alternative

show examples

fields

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, I vehemently disagree with

this

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opinion because the art

fields

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are

volunerable

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vulnerable

without official support and they are vital for education.

Submitted by takuya13sugimoto on Thu Sep 26 2024

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task achievement

Consider elaborating more on how the arts contribute to societal well-being or national identity, as this could strengthen your argument even further.

coherence cohesion

Avoid minor grammar mistakes, such as 'finacially' instead of 'financially', 'volunerable' instead of 'vulnerable', and 'threfore' instead of 'therefore', to make your essay more polished.

coherence cohesion

Be careful with the consistency of terminology. For example, 'cultural parts' should be 'cultural sectors' or simply 'cultural fields'.

coherence cohesion

Strong introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well.

task achievement

Each main point is well-supported with clear and relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

Good logical flow from one point to the next, making the essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
economic stimulus
essential services
healthcare
education
infrastructure
public safety
tangible benefits
creativity
critical thinking
job creation
performance arts

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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All level of education, from primary to tertiary school should be free. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. What extent do you agree?

“Libraries are irrelevant in the age of the internet and should not be publicly funded.” Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out the history of the house or building they live in What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Nowsadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.