Some people think traffic and housing problems in big cities can be solved by moving companies and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree with this statement ?
The advancement of technologies and globalization has
lead
to Wrong verb form
led
establishment
of more Add an article
the establishment
companies
and industries. Therefore
, many people
think traffic
and housing problems in big cities
can be solved by moving companies
and their employees to the countryside
.
I agree, traffic
and housing problems in big Correct word choice
that traffic
cities
can be solved by supporting the above statement. In Add an article
the countryside
countryside
there is abundant space and Add a comma
countryside,
surrounding
for new or existing Replace the word
surroundings
companies
to move
and re-establish. There won't be any competition as compare
to Change the form of the verb
compared
cities
. Companies
can run as a monopoly. Thus
, they can contrpl
the market's demand and supply. In Correct your spelling
control
cities
there is Add a comma
cities,
scarcity
of employees. Add an article
a scarcity
the scarcity
Nevertheless
, in countryside
too, there Add an article
the countryside
is
lots of educated Change the verb form
are
people
who are short of good opportunities. In cities
there is Add a comma
cities,
scarcity
of water, space and other Add an article
a scarcity
the scarcity
necesary
resources. The current problem Correct your spelling
necessary
companies
are facing is the housing crisis. Due to
out-large of employees, people
are not finding suitbale
house to Correct your spelling
suitable
accomodate
. Correct your spelling
accommodate
Nontheless
, Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
this
can be sloved
if Correct your spelling
solved
companies
move
to countryside
. Sometimes houses are un-occupied as most of the Add an article
the countryside
people
live in big cities
. It''s an advantage for both the companies
and the people
living in rural areas. As the countryside
Add a comma
countryside,
people
can earn move
through the company's employee in a reasonable rates
.
Correct the article-noun agreement
reasonable rates
a reasonable rate
Subsequently
, there will be decrease
in air pollution leading to a healthy Correct article usage
a decrease
life style
. There will be less Correct your spelling
lifestyle
traffic
conjuction
. Correct your spelling
congestion
Companies
who
are Correct pronoun usage
that
non- profitable
Correct word choice
non-profit
organisation
like Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
NGO
, Fix the agreement mistake
NGOs
sustainable
Add a missing verb
are sustainable
energy based
. It can greatly Add a hyphen
energy-based
benift
the Correct your spelling
benefit
countryside
people
who are deprived of opportunites
. Their children can go to school with the help of Correct your spelling
opportunities
opportunity
such
companies
. Companies
moving to countryside
can create a chain of Add an article
the countryside
employement opportunites
. There will Correct your spelling
employment opportunities
technology
advancement and liberalization.
All in all, It's Replace the word
be technological
an
great Change the article
a
move
if the comapnies
Correct your spelling
companies
move
to countryside
as it will create less Correct article usage
the countryside
traffic
conjuction
and Correct your spelling
congestion
housing
crisis. On the other side, Correct article usage
a housing
It's
will Verb problem
it
immensly
Correct your spelling
greatly
benifit
the Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
people
living in countryside
. Add an article
the countryside
Hence
, it's a win-win sitution
for both. Correct your spelling
situation
However
, there might be some negative impact
too if big Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
companies
moves
. Change the verb form
move
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
i
will Change the capitalization
I
agree
the statement firmly.Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
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task achievement
Your response to the task is fairly comprehensive and addresses most aspects of the prompt. However, including more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments would strengthen your essay.
coherence and cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and some awkward phrasing. For instance, 'out-large of employees' could be 'large number of employees' and 'conjuction' should be 'congestion'. Working on these aspects can improve the clarity of your writing.
introduction and conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear stance and summary.
task achievement
You effectively discuss various benefits of moving companies to the countryside, such as reducing pollution and creating employment opportunities.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.