IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Ngoc Nhi

#students #gap #year #school #university #work #travel #outweigh #ngoc #nhi
In the modernized era, the number of
people
 who
gap
years
 between high school and college is increasing more and more. In my opinion, there are some advantages that
people
 should stop studying,
develop
Correct word choice
and develop
show examples
 skills outside of school
instead
.
To begin
, stopping studying one or a few
years
 before entering a university has enormous benefits. Choosing a
gap
 year gives them more time to think about their favourite majors because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youngsters feel vague about their choices. In the
gap
 year period,
people
 can explore their own wishes and experience the outside world before making an important decision. To be specific, they can participate the extracurricular activities, go to practice in businesses and earn money from part-time occupations.
Therefore
, young
people
 will know their desired industries and the next
years
 in college will be prepared more carefully. Moving on to the second advantage is pushing
people
 out of their comfort zone. If taking a
gap
 year gives you the time to rest, it
also
 gives you plenty of time for challenges. Most young
people
 worry about dealing with other brilliant
people
 in a highly educated environment. In fact, Observing knowledge in an extreme environment will help them draw many valuable lessons.
Therefore
, They can escape from peer pressure and be more confident about their abilities. In conclusion, in my opinion, Taking a few
years
 to go out of the safety zone has a lot of advantages for careful selection of majors and receiving the important lessons.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This can positively impact the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transition between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure by making sure each paragraph is clearly and logically linked to the next one.
coherence cohesion
Good job on providing a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well.
coherence cohesion
The main points are clearly identified and generally well-supported.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task fully and provides a comprehensive viewpoint on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: