IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Recent developments in technology have greatly changed our ways of life in a positive way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#developments #technology #life
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The advancement of technology has undoubtedly transformed our ways of life in a positive manner. I strongly believe that
the
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apply
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recent technological development brings various
benefit
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benefits
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in
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to
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 our everyday
life
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lives
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 and it has been proven by a vast majority of
people
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. The way we interact with
people
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 around the world has become easier since the emergence of
internet
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the internet
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. In the past, we
need
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needed
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 to wait patiently for months to get our message delivered to
people
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 from the other side of the world, but now they are just one click away through
phonecall
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phone calls
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 or e-mail.
For instance
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, a multinational company which has branches in many big nations use Teams, an application to be able to connect with each other with no difficulty.
Therefore
Linking Words
, not only individuals can get the benefit from technology, but big corporations can
also
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 work in convenience.
This
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 technological advancement
also
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 played a big role during COVID-19. We relied heavily on multiple types of
tehcnology
Correct your spelling
technology
such
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 as
internet
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the internet
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, social media, and video conference platforms to work and study from home during the pandemic. If it
was
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were
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 not for the sophisticated technology that we had at that moment, there would be many cases of unemployment which led to
bankrupcy
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bankruptcy
 and students would not have a proper learning experiences. . In conclusion, the recent technological advancement has significantly changed many aspects of human lives in a good way. With
this
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 development, we were not badly impacted during the pandemic and we can conveniently interact, whether casually or professionally, with
people
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 all over the world
with
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apply
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it
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apply
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.
Submitted by ameliahanakaru01 on

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task achievement
Your essay responds well to the task, addressing how technology has positively impacted our lives. However, consider adding more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is clear and well-structured, but there are a few grammatical errors and typos (e.g., 'tehcnology' instead of 'technology', and 'bankrupcy' instead of 'bankruptcy'). Proofreading your work can help catch these minor mistakes.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion nicely wraps up the points made.
logical structure
You use a logical structure, dividing the essay into paragraphs that each cover a specific point. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
supported main points
Your main points about how technology has improved communication and helped during the COVID-19 pandemic are supported by relevant examples, making your argument compelling.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, and you provide a complete response to the task by explaining the positive impacts of technology on various aspects of life.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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