IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think they have the right to use as much water as they wan. Others, however, believe that the government should control the use of fresh water as it is a limited resource. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #right #water #government #control #resource
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Water
Use synonyms
 is very important for our daily
life
Use synonyms
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think they have the right to
use
Use synonyms
water
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, but others
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should
under
Add a missing verb
be under
show examples
 control to
use
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
. For me, I think everyone should
awareness
Replace the word
be aware
show examples
 to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can pass some laws to control the
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 think they can
use
Use synonyms
 as much
water
Use synonyms
 as they want, they deem
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
restricted
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 is lost their
personalty
Correct your spelling
personality
show examples
.
Water
Use synonyms
 is essential for
life
Use synonyms
, some person
use
Use synonyms
water
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 for their daily activities,
such
Linking Words
 as drinking,
swimming
Correct word choice
and swimming
show examples
 and for their hobbies.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 some individuals think
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the government
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government
Change noun form
government's
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limited
Wrong verb form
limiting
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 usage
is violated
Wrong verb form
violates
show examples
 their freedom, they don’t like the feeling of being restricted and some
people
Use synonyms
 fear if
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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limited
Wrong verb form
limits
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
 quality will decrease.
However
Linking Words
, I would argue that
people
Use synonyms
 all need awareness to save
water
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 and
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is a good way for our later generations.
Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
show examples
 we have a lot of
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems,
Use synonyms
water
Correct word choice
and water
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 reduction is one of them. We need to think about our offspring, they need more
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
. So the
government
Use synonyms
 can pass some laws to control the
use
Use synonyms
 of fresh
water
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,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 public
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 some rewards and punishments.
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Government
Add an article
The government
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also
Linking Words
can promote
Wrong verb form
promotes
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 fair distribution, particularly in drought
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. By
management
Replace the word
managing
show examples
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
,
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government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can
priority
Replace the word
prioritise
show examples
 essential needs like drinking and agriculture.
This
Linking Words
 way
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
all the
people
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 can have access
Use synonyms
water
Fix the infinitive
to water
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,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 can make sure more
people
Use synonyms
 have a good
life
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. In conclusion,
water
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 is a limited resource not only for us, but for future generations we need to save
water
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 can give some rewards to
make
Verb problem
give
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public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
motive power to follow the laws.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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task achievement
Ensure you provide clear and specific examples to reinforce your points. This helps illustrate your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the main idea and your stance on the issue.
task achievement
You have effectively highlighted both sides of the argument in your discussion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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