Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives,but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

Many adults
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
create a balance between
work
and
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
life.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
only dozens of
people
achieved it. It has several reasons,like working in many jobs or misunderstanding in planning day. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will explain
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
show examples
and solutions to
this
problem. Several millions of
people
have
planing
Correct your spelling
plans
show examples
for their day.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
some
people
cannot manage their
time
and cannot finish their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
to deadlines.To finish their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
they will spend their night
time
rather chatting with their family or playing with their children.
Moreover
,
although
many thousands of workers
work
more than others, they get less amount of payments.
For
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
they
work
in several jobs at the same
time
to earn more. If they
work
Correct article usage
a hole
show examples
Correct article usage
a hole
show examples
Correct your spelling
whole
show examples
hole
Correct your spelling
whole
show examples
day,they cannot spend
time
with their family. It has some solutions to
broke
Wrong verb form
break
show examples
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
.If
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
increases payments,
people
will not
work
in several places. After working in one job,
people
will have enough
time
for
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
life.
Furthermore
,another solution is the given task must be done on
time
. After finishing
Add an article
the task
a task
show examples
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
,
people
will have more
time
to create
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
life. In
conclusin
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
because of small
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
,
people
must
work
in 2 or 3 places, if
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
can create
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
plan, he can catch up
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
all tasks.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, make sure to include specific examples to support your points. For instance, describing a scenario where someone successfully balanced work and personal life would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that sentence transitions are smooth. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential elements of a well-structured essay.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both causes and solutions, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • flexible work arrangements
  • remote work
  • unplug
  • boundaries
  • workplace culture
  • societal pressure
  • stress management
  • time management
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