IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some peolple believe that it is the best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsastisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The vast majority of
people
Use synonyms
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that
Add a missing verb
being unsastisfied
show examples
unsastisfied
Correct your spelling
unsatisfied
satisfied
 may have
worse
Correct article usage
a worse
show examples
 effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, some argue that
people
Use synonyms
 should get some bad situation to improve their abilities.
Personnally
Correct your spelling
Personally
, the claim about
this
Linking Words
 topic is
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 second opinion as the damage is seen, there are reasons to be
eleborate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
elaborated
 as follow. First. some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
bad situations or bad experiences
such
Linking Words
 as occupation,
lack
Correct word choice
and lack
show examples
 of
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
 can harm
people
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both
physical
Change the word
physically
show examples
 and
mental
Change the word
mentally
show examples
. Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 that
dissapionted
Correct your spelling
disappointed
 from something got
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
depression,
while
Linking Words
 other
people
Use synonyms
 are happy with their life.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 In Bangkok which is
capital
Add an article
the capital
a capital
show examples
 city
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Thailand,
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 vast
people
Use synonyms
 decide to suicide not only
from
Change preposition
because of
show examples
finanacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 issues
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 get severe of depression.
However
Linking Words
, It is obvious that
people
Use synonyms
 become more
talent
Replace the word
talented
show examples
 every single day. No one can deny that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 various insults
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 try to improve
them self
Correct your spelling
themself
themselves
show examples
 and be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 in that
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, even though worse experiences are tedious,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 still give
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 greatest experience.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 that
Add a missing verb
are unsastisfied
show examples
unsastisfied
Correct your spelling
unsatisfied
satisfied
are depress
Change the verb form
are depressed
are depressing
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and sadness
show examples
sadness
Replace the word
sad
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 another
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not give up from that period, it
brings
Verb problem
is
show examples
 beneficial to
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 today and successfully.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 situation can harm
people
Use synonyms
, especially
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their mental health. Personally,
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that if you
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
patients
Fix the agreement mistake
patient
show examples
 and try hard it
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 benefits to you.
Hence
Linking Words
, try
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hard
then
Linking Words
 everything
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 you become
Add an article
a success
show examples
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
, and you will
Add a missing verb
be prouds
show examples
prouds
Correct your spelling
proud
 of
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
You need to improve the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, single idea that is developed logically. Avoid jumping between different ideas.
coherence cohesion
Currently, your introduction briefly mentions both sides of the argument but lacks clarity. Make sure to clearly outline the perspectives you will discuss in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion needs to be more robust. Summarize all the key points discussed in the essay, and clearly state your own opinion in a concluding sentence.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. This helps to make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Try to elaborate more on each point to make your responses more complete and detailed.
task achievement
You have made an effort to discuss both views which is essential for this type of essay.
task achievement
Your conclusion attempts to give your opinion, which is an important element of this task.
task achievement
You included examples relevant to the topic, which can help to explain your points more clearly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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