Some peolple believe that it is the best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsastisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The vast majority of
people
believes
that Change the verb form
believe
Add a missing verb
being unsastisfied
unsastisfied
may have Correct your spelling
unsatisfied
satisfied
worse
effect Correct article usage
a worse
to
Change preposition
on
people
, some argue that people
should get some bad situation to improve their abilities. Personnally
, the claim about Correct your spelling
Personally
this
topic is go
for Fix the infinitive
to go
the
second opinion as the damage is seen, there are reasons to be Correct article usage
a
eleborate
as follow.
First. some Correct your spelling
elaborate
elaborated
people
believe that got
Verb problem
apply
a
bad situations or bad experiences Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
such
as occupation, lack
of Correct word choice
and lack
financial
can harm Replace the word
finances
people
to
both Change preposition
apply
physical
and Change the word
physically
mental
. Nowadays Change the word
mentally
people
that dissapionted
from something got Correct your spelling
disappointed
a
depression, Correct article usage
apply
while
other people
are happy with their life. For
instance
In Bangkok which is Add a comma
instance,
capital
city Add an article
the capital
a capital
in
Thailand, Change preposition
of
The
vast Correct article usage
A
people
decide to suicide not only from
Change preposition
because of
finanacial
issuesCorrect your spelling
financial
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
get severe of depression.
However
, It is obvious that people
become more talent
every single day. No one can deny thatReplace the word
talented
,
various insults Remove the comma
apply
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
people
try to improve them self
and be Correct your spelling
themself
themselves
a
Correct article usage
apply
professional
in that Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
ways
. Fix the agreement mistake
way
Besides
that, even though worse experiences are tedious, it
still give Correct pronoun usage
they
a
greatest experience. Change the article
the
For example
, people
that Add a missing verb
are unsastisfied
unsastisfied
Correct your spelling
unsatisfied
satisfied
are depress
, Change the verb form
are depressed
are depressing
Correct word choice
and sadness
sadness
, Replace the word
sad
while
another business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
do
not give up from that period, it Change the verb form
does
brings
beneficial to Verb problem
is
him
today and successfully.
Correct pronoun usage
them
To sum up
, bad
situation can harm Add an article
a bad
people
, especially on
their mental health. Personally, Change preposition
apply
thinks
that if you Correct subject-verb agreement
think
be
Wrong verb form
are
patients
and try hard it Fix the agreement mistake
patient
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
bring
benefits to you. Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
Hence
, try your
hard Correct pronoun usage
apply
then
everything untill
you become Correct your spelling
until
Add an article
a success
success
, and you will Replace the word
successful
Add a missing verb
be prouds
prouds
of Correct your spelling
proud
your self
.Correct your spelling
yourself
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coherence cohesion
You need to improve the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, single idea that is developed logically. Avoid jumping between different ideas.
coherence cohesion
Currently, your introduction briefly mentions both sides of the argument but lacks clarity. Make sure to clearly outline the perspectives you will discuss in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion needs to be more robust. Summarize all the key points discussed in the essay, and clearly state your own opinion in a concluding sentence.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. This helps to make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Try to elaborate more on each point to make your responses more complete and detailed.
task achievement
You have made an effort to discuss both views which is essential for this type of essay.
task achievement
Your conclusion attempts to give your opinion, which is an important element of this task.
task achievement
You included examples relevant to the topic, which can help to explain your points more clearly.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?