Write about the following topic: We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers? Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays
people
cannot imagine their daily life without computer
technologies
, which are presented in economic, social, educational, cultural and other sectors. In my
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
behind
this
situation in the future and consider the pros and cons of
people
´s excessive
relying
Replace the word
reliance
show examples
on
computers
. One of the main reasons why
computers
will become an integral part of modern-day life is
simplification
Add an article
a simplification
the simplification
show examples
of
people
´s
work
and lifestyle. At one touch of a button,
technologies
let
people
avoid complex
work
and save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time
at
Change preposition
in
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workspace
Add an article
the workspace
show examples
. By
this
I mean, today´s
computers
can solve issues faster than
people
do and
this
trend will increase in the future. To give a specific example,
technologies
supported by artificial intelligence will write complete articles, generate images and communicate with customers.
As a result
, some employees will be replaced by
technologies
and
therefore
there won´t
exist
Verb problem
be
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some
of
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apply
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occupations
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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designers and journalists anymore.
Furthermore
,
people
would be more impacted by
computers
in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, as nowadays their
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
already are based on online processes
such
as online shopping and banking. In my opinion, the increasing popularity of
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
has both negative and positive sides. It allows everyone to stay in touch constantly and stay updated with the latest events.
In addition
to
this
, it became possible to
work
remotely. To give a specific example, my boss lives in Indonesia and successfully runs his businesses around the world using his computer.
However
, despite constantly evolving
technologies
there are a lot of issues and defects that machines have. It is questionable to rely heavily on
computers
as they can be hacked or have disruptions.
For example
, recently there was
massive
Add an article
a massive
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worldwide breakdown on
Microsoft based
Add a hyphen
Microsoft-based
show examples
devices that stopped
work
at some airports in different countries and
therefore
companies lost their clients and money.
To sum up
, computer-based
technologies
are important parts of our lives, and
people
are increasingly influenced by them. Our future is hardly imaginable without
computers
, but we should be mindful
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
all the disadvantages
technologies
have.
Submitted by aakbarov2010 on

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task achievement
Ensure the essay stays on topic throughout and directly addresses all parts of the prompt. A clear response to both questions should be evident in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Create more seamless transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of the argument.
task achievement
Expand on examples and explanations for points made, making sure they are directly related to the task prompt. This will help to fully develop ideas and increase the clarity of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that they support the overall argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Good use of examples to illustrate points, particularly the remote working example and the Microsoft breakdown incident.
task achievement
The essay covers both the positive and negative aspects of relying heavily on computer-based technology, showing a balanced viewpoint.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence
  • automation
  • digital resources
  • ubiquitous
  • digital divide
  • virtual realities
  • e-waste
  • screen time
  • medical technology
  • tech-driven economies
  • human relationships
  • efficient resource management
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