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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The table below gives average yearly statistics of four cities

The table below gives average yearly statistics of four cities
The illustration presents information about the statistics of different
cities
Use synonyms
. As an
overall
Linking Words
 trend,
Edinburgh
Use synonyms
 and
Helsinki
Use synonyms
 had approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 statistics,
while
Linking Words
Paris
Use synonyms
 and
Casablanca
Use synonyms
 show significant
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 between each other.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Casablanca
Use synonyms
 demonstrates low-level results
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each sphere.
In contrast
Linking Words
, other
cities
Use synonyms
 illustrate average consequences
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each of the categories.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Edinburgh
Use synonyms
 had 550mm of annual
rainfall
Use synonyms
, which is more about 50
mm
Use synonyms
 than
Helsinki
Use synonyms
’s.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
Helsinki
Use synonyms
 revealed the leading position
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of wet days, it had 181 rainy days.
Following
Change the article
The following
show examples
 place
took
Verb problem
was
show examples
Edinburgh
Use synonyms
 or rather it had 150 wet days.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Helsinki
Use synonyms
 had the highest figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 snowfall, it was 450mm; in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
,
Edinburgh
Use synonyms
 had only 75
mm
Use synonyms
 of
snowfalls
Fix the agreement mistake
snowfall
show examples
. The annual
temperature
Use synonyms
 range in
Helsinki
Use synonyms
 was -10 to 18 degrees
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
,
Edinburgh
Use synonyms
’s average
temperature
Use synonyms
 reached 5-15 degrees
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Helsinki
Use synonyms
 had 4,7
hours
Use synonyms
 of sunlight,
while
Linking Words
Edinburgh
Use synonyms
 had 4
hours
Use synonyms
. As
table
Add an article
the table
show examples
 suggests,
Paris
Use synonyms
 and
Casablanca
Use synonyms
 demonstrated
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
important differences between the
cities
Use synonyms
.
Paris
Use synonyms
 presented the highest number of total annual
rainfall
Use synonyms
, there were 700
mm
Use synonyms
 of
rainfall
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Casablanca
Use synonyms
 showed the slightest trend, it
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 only 25mm of
rainfall
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Casablanca
Use synonyms
 depicted the lowest number again and
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
show examples
snowfall’s
Change noun form
snowfall
show examples
 case , the
millimeters
Change the spelling
millimetres
show examples
equal
Add a missing verb
were equal
show examples
 to zero,
while
Linking Words
Paris
Use synonyms
 had 10
mm
Use synonyms
 of snowfall. We can see that
Use synonyms
temperature
Correct article usage
the temperature
show examples
 of both of the
cities
Use synonyms
approximately
Add a missing verb
is approximately
show examples
 the same, despite it, there is one difference, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 of
Casablanca
Use synonyms
 was higher by 10 gradus
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
. Even if
Casablanca
Use synonyms
 had the lowest scores in each sphere, he had the best figure
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 of sunlight; it’s sunny for 9
hours
Use synonyms
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
Paris
Use synonyms
 had 6,5
hours
Use synonyms
 of sunlight

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, edinburgh, helsinki, paris, casablanca, mm, rainfall, temperature, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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