IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the samepark today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #samepark #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given maps demonstrate changes that have happened for a public
park
 from 1920 to now.
Overall
, it is important that The number of facilities that help people to have better entertainment has climbed
while
 the vegetation has been destroyed.
According to
 the pictures,Today, two Entrances, and the rose
garden
, in the north-west of the
park
, are the same as in the past;
however
, elements that were in the west of the place in 1920
such
 as 4 seats, the Rose
garden
, in the south-west, and stage for musicians ,which are in the west of the
park
, have been replaced by massive amphitheatre that not only singers but
also
 a group of people who play music instruments have a play. The graphs illustrate that the
last
 fountain in 1920 has altered into a big rose
garden
 in the
park
's centre with 4 various seats around it.
In addition
, the parts that were in the north-east like the Rose
garden
 and pond for water planets have been changed by a cafe and region for children who can play in it;
furthermore
, glass houses and seats were destroyed and they have been built a large water feature and the entrance that help the population come from underground parking to the
park
.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Make sure to provide a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed in the essay to improve the overall structure.
supported main points
Try to avoid repeating the same phrases or ideas. Instead, vary your vocabulary and sentence structures to maintain reader interest.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that there are clear transitions between paragraphs.
clear comprehensive ideas
In your description, make sure that the changes are explained clearly and are relevant to the topic provided. Avoid unnecessary details that don't contribute to the overall understanding.
complete response
You managed to identify the main changes between the maps, which is essential for task achievement.
relevant specific examples
You included relevant and specific examples of changes in the park, showing a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: