Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

In
this
modern era, it is not unfamiliar to see children in
teen age
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teenage
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to
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apply
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socialize using social
medias
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media
show examples
rather than go out and see someone offline. To solve
this
problem, it is important for us to understand
reasons
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the reasons
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why
such
development occurs.
This
essay will
also
try to provide
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
solution to the problem. Nowadays, it is easier for
people
to use and make as many accounts as they can. With those accounts, they can take on any personas that they want to be and reach out to others. It is common for these adolescents to have more than one account on
instagram
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Instagram
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,
as
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for
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, so they can post something good about themselves on their main account
also
they can post something more private to their closest
friend
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friends
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on their second account.
Thus
, they prefer to communicate online. Another trigger for
this
is that there are not many comfortable
places
these children can use as a place to meet up with their friends. For them who
usually
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are usually
show examples
still
in
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at
show examples
school age, they do not have enough
fund
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funds
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to go to
places
just to meet up with someone. Hang out in cafes or malls,
for example
, requires money for them to get a comfortable space and going to parks
are
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is
show examples
not the option either because of
high
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the high
a high
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level of
polutions
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pollution
pollutions
. In short, it is hard for them to find suitable
places
for them to catch up with friends. To solve
this
issue, there is a need for
adults
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adult
show examples
intervention. With the help of older
people
, these children may find comfort in
meet
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meeting
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their
friend
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friends
show examples
offline. Governments
make
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making
show examples
more open space,
for instance
, can help to achieve
this
goal. In conclusion,
adults
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adult
show examples
help is important to help teenagers meet other
people
in person. All in all,
teenager
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teenagers
show examples
prefer to meet
people
online because it is easy for them. The lack of comfortable
places
to hang out is
also
a trigger.
However
, with the help of adults
such
as
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, it can be easy for them to see others in person.
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task achievement
The argument that teenagers prefer online socializing because they can take on different personas is interesting but could be developed further. For instance, mentioning the sense of safety and confidence they feel online could strengthen your point.
task achievement
Currently, the second body paragraph regarding comfortable places seems less convincing without specific evidence or examples. Including data or examples such as community centers can enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Focus on maintaining a consistent tone and register throughout the essay. Some phrases read awkwardly and can be rephrased for better clarity and formal tone. For instance, instead of 'children in teen age,' use 'teenagers.'
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally logically structured. However, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using transitional phrases can help improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, setting a good framework for your argument.
task achievement
You identified two main reasons teenagers prefer online socializing and linked them to the problem effectively. This shows a good understanding of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital platforms
  • primary means
  • social interaction
  • messaging apps
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • geographic barriers
  • perceived safety
  • control
  • online environments
  • global events
  • COVID-19 pandemic
  • accelerating
  • foster
  • community events
  • educational institutions
  • collaboration
  • guardians
  • pivotal role
  • participation
  • awareness
  • psychological benefits
  • physical benefits
  • in-person interactions
  • public campaigns
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