In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
I think that
population
of the Correct article usage
the population
countryside
move
to the Replace the word
moving
city
makes
Verb problem
has
negorive
effects. These days, Correct your spelling
negative
people
in outskirts
are dropping. Changing the Correct article usage
the outskirts
population
occurs
some Verb problem
causes
ploblems
.
Correct your spelling
problems
Decreasing
Correct article usage
A decreasing
popluation
Correct your spelling
population
makes
Verb problem
has
the
Correct article usage
an
economical
effect Replace the word
economic
to
the Change preposition
on
county
. In general, our foods are harvested in Correct your spelling
country
countryside
. If the Add an article
the countryside
population
decreased, the amount of crops would decline. Moreover
, people
who remain in rural areas are elderly persons. They are difficult to continue their farming, so we will lose famers
dramatically.
Correct your spelling
farmers
Furthermore
, increasing the number of people
in the city
makes negative impucts
Correct your spelling
impacts
to
Change preposition
on
environment
and lifestyle in the Correct article usage
the environment
city
. Fast, the more people
live in, the more amount of cars, bus, and trains are increased. They damages
the environment. They emit Change the verb form
damage
green house
gases Correct your spelling
greenhouse
in
the air, and It will expand the holes Change preposition
into
of
Change preposition
in
ozone
layer. The places where we can live will be Add an article
the ozone
shrinked
. It Correct your spelling
shrunk
also
affect
Change the verb form
affects
to
animals and plants. Change preposition
apply
Second,
growth
of Correct article usage
the growth
population
affect
our lifestyle in the Change the verb form
affects
city
. For example
, It causes heavy traffic jams. Nowadays, in Tokyo, we cannot drive cars in the city
due to
traffic jams, the highways are also
the same. It is difficult to access to the city
by cars and buses. Moreover
, commuter tains
are always packed by Correct your spelling
trains
people
, and it is disgusting to use them. Sometimes, too many people
ride on the train, It is so dangerous.
To sum up
, moving the people
who live in the countryside
have serious ploblems
in the Correct your spelling
problems
countryside
and in the city
. We should discourage the people
who live in the countryside
to go
to the Change preposition
from going
city
.Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, try to clearly organize your points in distinct paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your main points are fully supported by detailed examples or evidence. This not only clarifies your arguments but also makes them more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are comprehensive and clearly expressed. Avoid vague statements and elaborate on your ideas to make them more comprehensible to the reader.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to back up your arguments. This will strengthen your points and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame your essay.
task achievement
Your essay covers both the negative effects on rural and urban areas, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
Good attempt at explaining the consequences of population movement on both economy and environment.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.