Some people think that companies and individuals should pay to clear up the pollution they product, and that the government should not pay for it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People have different views about whether the
government
should pay for the
pollution
that
companies
and
individuals
make. To a certain extent, I think the
government
should pay some part of the expense so
companies
and
individuals
can lessen their burden of it. Most
companies
pursue their profits by achieving their business and showing their performance successfully. If there’s no taxation on
pollution
,
companies
will not have to hesitate to make
trash
such
as plastics and even fuel. Without a strict system for
companies
,
pollution
problems are getting worse severely.
Similarly
,
individuals
commonly want comfort and simple ways in their lives.
However
, faster and cheaper routes in daily life that
individuals
want can make the
pollution
worse.
For example
, when people are walking with a handful of
trash
, and find out that there’s no
trash
bin near. In
this
situation, they know that they have to dispose of
trash
in a proper way, but no need to hesitate to throw it on the roadways because nobody cares about it. When we think of successful countries, their systems are based on not only professional management of
government
,
Remove the comma
apply
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but
also
supplies of
companies
and demands of
individuals
. If
companies
and
individuals
have to pay for all the part of
pollution
they make, their productive activities would be suppressed. In conclusion, the
government
should charge a certain part of the
pollution
so that various industries can develop and society works well.
Submitted by susie0104 on

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task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well by discussing the role of companies, individuals, and the government in handling pollution. However, your main points would benefit from more development and specific examples to illustrate your arguments clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow can be improved. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next point and that each idea is well-connected to the overall argument.
task achievement
More detailed and practical examples could strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific policies or case studies where government intervention has resulted in positive outcomes.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, the body paragraphs should provide more detailed supporting information and analysis. This would make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-stated, summarizing your views clearly and concisely. This provides a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
The topic is approached thoughtfully, and you present a balanced view recognizing the roles of both companies and individuals along with government responsibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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