IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that companies and individuals should pay to clear up the pollution they product, and that the government should not pay for it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #companies #individuals #pollution #product #government
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People have different views about whether the
government
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 should pay for the
pollution
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 that
companies
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 and
individuals
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 make. To a certain extent, I think the
government
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 should pay some part of the expense so
companies
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 and
individuals
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 can lessen their burden of it. Most
companies
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 pursue their profits by achieving their business and showing their performance successfully. If there’s no taxation on
pollution
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,
companies
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 will not have to hesitate to make
trash
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such
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 as plastics and even fuel. Without a strict system for
companies
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,
pollution
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 problems are getting worse severely.
Similarly
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,
individuals
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 commonly want comfort and simple ways in their lives.
However
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, faster and cheaper routes in daily life that
individuals
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 want can make the
pollution
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 worse.
For example
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, when people are walking with a handful of
trash
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, and find out that there’s no
trash
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 bin near. In
this
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 situation, they know that they have to dispose of
trash
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 in a proper way, but no need to hesitate to throw it on the roadways because nobody cares about it. When we think of successful countries, their systems are based on not only professional management of
government
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,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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 supplies of
companies
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 and demands of
individuals
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. If
companies
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 and
individuals
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 have to pay for all the part of
pollution
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 they make, their productive activities would be suppressed. In conclusion, the
government
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 should charge a certain part of the
pollution
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 so that various industries can develop and society works well.
Submitted by susie0104 on

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task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well by discussing the role of companies, individuals, and the government in handling pollution. However, your main points would benefit from more development and specific examples to illustrate your arguments clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow can be improved. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next point and that each idea is well-connected to the overall argument.
task achievement
More detailed and practical examples could strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific policies or case studies where government intervention has resulted in positive outcomes.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, the body paragraphs should provide more detailed supporting information and analysis. This would make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-stated, summarizing your views clearly and concisely. This provides a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
The topic is approached thoughtfully, and you present a balanced view recognizing the roles of both companies and individuals along with government responsibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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