in Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Senior citizens frequently move to old

age

Use synonyms

homes

Use synonyms

in Britain, and I believe the central

government

Use synonyms

should be responsible for their living costs.

This

Linking Words

ought to be

due to

Linking Words

the inability of some families to support the elder ones and the laws of tax collection imposed by the

government

Use synonyms

. First and foremost, few families are unable to afford proper

care

Use synonyms

for their parents and grandparents so they send them to old

age

Use synonyms

centres; hoping the

government

Use synonyms

will sustain their living expenses.

For example

Linking Words

, In Vietnam, it is a rule that whenever children are financially restricted

to support

Change preposition

from supporting

show examples

their parents, they must

send

Wrong verb form

be sent

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

to old

age

Use synonyms

homes

Use synonyms

for better facilities. If the family was

otherwise

Linking Words

able to provide

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better medical

care

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, Why would they send parents to old

age

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homes

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

government

Use synonyms

should be accountable for providing optimal

care

Use synonyms

to senior citizens at

such

Linking Words

facilities.

Furthermore

Linking Words

taxes

Use synonyms

are collected from individuals throughout their working lives in the form of income

taxes

Use synonyms

and

pensions

Change the noun form

pension

show examples

plans, so they are utilized in the later years of life for reliability and satisfaction.

For example

Linking Words

, Britain's

government

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deducts billions of dollars in

taxes

Use synonyms

from employees'

pay cheques

Correct your spelling

paychecks

show examples

to assure them financial stability as they retire.

Consequently

Linking Words

, people work their entire lives to be financially relieved after retirement.

Thus

Linking Words

, the country should be responsible for

maintenance

Correct article usage

the maintenance

show examples

of centres, and

to provide

Change the verb form

providing

show examples

medical aid and shelter to senior citizens. In conclusion, people who live in old

age

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homes

Use synonyms

should be assisted by the

government

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. Owing to the fact that some unfortunate families are incapable of taking

care

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of their elders and these seniors have been paying

taxes

Use synonyms

for a better future, for most of their lives.

bidingmehakjotFri Sep 27 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position and sets up the arguments well. However, you could strengthen your essay by providing a bit more background context about the situation in Britain.

coherence cohesion

You need to ensure that your body paragraphs are more evenly balanced in length and detail. The second paragraph could benefit from a bit more elaboration or examples to match the depth of the first paragraph.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is generally well-structured and the main points are logical, work on smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay clearly addresses the question, providing a well-supported argument for why the government should bear the cost of care for elderly citizens.

task achievement

The usage of examples, particularly the one about Vietnam, effectively supports your argument and adds credibility to your points.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position, providing a satisfying end to your essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Aging population
Elderly care
Nursing homes
Social welfare
Intergenerational responsibility
Caregiving
Financial burden
Quality of life
Pension funds
Healthcare policy
Taxation
Subsidies
Private insurance
Long-term care
Sustainability

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