In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?
There is an increase in the usage of performance-enhancement drugs by professional
athletes
across various sports
. This
development has occured
because of the drug's easy access and fatigue caused by playing more Correct your spelling
occurred
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
games
. The possible solutions to this
are less
Change the quantifier
fewer
games
and severe punishments.
One of the causes is that these banned substances are easily available in the market for athletes
to buy, even without prescriptions, thereby causing its
usage to rise. Another cause of Correct pronoun usage
their
this
scenario,
is the increase in Remove the comma
apply
number
of Change the article
a number
the number
games
or matches the sports
professionals have to play. With the increase in number
of Change the article
a number
the number
games
, the need to stay fit also
increases, which results in sports
people taking banned supplements. For example
, Paul Pogba, a famous Manchester United footballer, confessed in an interview that the reason he used to take steroids before matches was
to keep performing regularly at the highest level, Change the verb form
were
othewise
Manchester United would have sold him.
One of the solutions to these problems is, obviously, fewer matches. If Correct your spelling
otherwise
athletes
do not have to play more than twice a week, then
they can receive adequate rest and recover on their own, thereby reducing the need to take banned substances. Another solution is to make the punishment for doping very severe. If sports
professionals understand that the usage of illegal drugs for boosting performance comes at a cost of a negative impact on their careers, it will discourage them from consuming these. For instance
, FIFA had introduced a rule of banning footballers for atleast
7 years if caught in a doping test. Correct your spelling
at least
This
was followed by a significant decrease in the number
of reports related to doping before football matches.
In conclusion, the pressure to perform at the top level, and easy access to banned drugs causes athletes
to consume them. However
, this
can be solved by reducing the number
of games
and increasing the severity of the punishmet
.Correct your spelling
punishment
punishments
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the prompt effectively, it would benefit from providing a bit more detail and analysis in the body paragraphs. For instance, the reasons can be explored with more depth and different dimensions, such as societal pressures or economic incentives.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the usage of cohesive devices to improve the smooth flow of the essay. The transitions are clear, but with additional linking phrases, they could appear even more seamless.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and addresses both causes and solutions effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow, with clear paragraphs dedicated to different aspects of the topic.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the reference to Paul Pogba, enrich the discussion and make the arguments more convincing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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