Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of website
The opinion
about the Correct article usage
Opinion
internet
from some people is that the content is potentially dangerous, to solve this
problem, the goverment
should act as a censor.
In my opinion, the Correct your spelling
government
goverment
should have Correct your spelling
government
a stronger laws
Correct the article-noun agreement
stronger laws
a stronger law
along side
Correct your spelling
alongside
with
a special team who investigate some Change preposition
apply
websides
and close them if Correct your spelling
websites
requiered
.
Correct your spelling
required
Firstly
, it is fair to say that the internet
has revolutionaded
the Correct your spelling
revolutionized
revolutionised
way
that we comunicate
with each other or Correct your spelling
communicate
also
how an
easy Remove the article
apply
access
to different sources of information has improved out
availability thought.
Correct your spelling
our
However
, the
Correct article usage
apply
acess
to the Correct your spelling
access
internet
is fairly easy and worldwide we are used to be
connected every day. If we look closer Wrong verb form
being
in to
the younger Join the words
into
population
, there are surveys from last
years
reporting about the larger percentage of time than they spend Fix the agreement mistake
year
in
the Change preposition
on
internet
. The access
to an adult only
Add a hyphen
adult-only
webside
has increased for Correct your spelling
website
this
young population
because the security provided to access
them it
is very easy to resolve or they do not have any security Correct pronoun usage
apply
systeam
at all. The range of age that the young Correct your spelling
system
population
have access
to these webside
starts at Correct your spelling
website
websites
age
of 9 in Europe as per recent surveys.
Correct article usage
the age
Moreover
, the
Correct article usage
apply
ciberbulling
is a new Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
way
of harrassment
Correct your spelling
harassment
in
the Change preposition
on
internet
. This
is suffered by adults and young people. This
new way
of threatining
has Correct your spelling
threatening
lead
to Wrong verb form
led
mayor
mental health problems for the Correct your spelling
major
victimis
and in some Correct your spelling
victims
cases
they Add a comma
cases,
had
committed suicide.
The Wrong verb form
have
goverments
should have stronger laws regarding acessing to Correct your spelling
government
governments
websides
and Correct your spelling
websites
also
if there is any short
of Replace the word
shortage
cyberbulling
they should close the Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
cyber bullying
webside inmediatly
.
In conclusion, despite that the Correct your spelling
websites immediately
internet
has improved some aspects from
our Change preposition
of
lifes
, it is Correct your spelling
lives
also
a new way
of damege
the general Correct your spelling
damage
population
, therefore
the goverments
should Correct your spelling
government
governments
stronger
regulations.Add a missing verb
have stronger
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task achievement
Ensure all main points are fully developed and supported with relevant examples or evidence to provide a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing paragraphs logically, ensuring each one flows smoothly to the next. Consider using transition words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and sentence structure.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt directly, discussing the need for government censorship to ensure internet safety.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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